Quite a challenging day....

I am the kind of person who takes the words of others very seriously (sometimes a little too seriously for my own good!) ~ While I may not be as hopeless as I was before, you can be sure that I would remember whatever you tell me nearly word for word, if I give my fullest attention while you talk. Why? Because my brain would, at certain intervals throughout the day, replay what you've said, the context it was said, your facial expressions, your tone, and etc. as if it were a video recording. I am melancholic like that. Sad. Haha. It would be still all right if I were impressionable and my brain just did the replays and nothing else ~ but I often find myself also critically analyzing those words, continuously mulling over them or dwelling in my deepest sympathies for the person (if what he/she told me was sad).... even in my sleep! It can be quite distressing if I grow depressed; this happens in either one of the following situations: when I conclude my analysis with a "He/she must be angry at me; it is my fault" OR "I don't know how to help him/her; oh no...poor thing..."

Perhaps this is why Pst. Jeya once said that people like me should never do too much counseling - because I get too emotionally involved in the cases. I'm honestly glad that I didn't turn out to be the doctor/psychiatrist whom I once aspired to be. I would probably go mad... furthermore, get bullied and manipulated by the patients who can figure out which buttons to press and which strings to pull so that my heart softens.

Well, I refuse to stay the way I am... a man (or woman) must grow ~ and ideally in the context of his/her relationship with God and others ~ or he/she is dead. Therefore, I am learning to pray and commit my unease to God; instead of over-analyzing things and getting depressed for no reason.

With regards to my challenging day...
It was a challenging day with regards to the words received....