Sophie's diaries : Easter 2017 and her Not-so-Infant Baptism

After wrestling with the idea of infant baptism for 3 years, we finally decided to baptise our firstborn today.

Now of course, by this time, she isn't an infant anymore. She is also able to confess on her own that Jesus Christ died on the cross for all our sins - hers, mummy's, daddy's, gong-gong's, ah-ee's, etc - whatever her understanding of sin is - and yet, He is alive. She requests prayers; prays over the little hurdles she meets in life (like "God, please put all the bad guys in the world in the naughty corner..." or "God, please give us an empty parking lot..."); looks forward to the eschaton where she will meet especially that older brother who died in mummy's tummy and returned Home to God; and is able to reason much more than an infant. She manifests faith to a certain extent. Her baptism was not-so-infant. But, I am glad that I thought through the whole infant baptism thing... and I am not too ashamed to admit that my previous understanding of it could have been incomplete.

Here are the points I thoroughly considered:

First, while it is essential that a person confesses with his mouth that Jesus is Lord and believes in his heart that God raised Him from the dead (Rom. 10:9), where in the Bible does it say that baptism can only be administered for one who has reached the age of reason to do so with full conviction prior to baptism? While repentant converts were certainly baptised as the impetus for discipleship, we also read in the Book of Acts that their families were baptised with them, e.g. Lydia (16:15) and the Philippian jailer (16:33). Among the families/households must have been children of all ages, infants included. Furthermore, the Apostle Paul notes that baptism has replaced conventional circumcision; it is to be a "circumcision made without hands" (Col. 2:11-12). As we know, circumcision under the Old Covenant was for Jewish infants as much as it was for older boys and men among God's chosen people. Such unaware infants were circumcised in anticipation of the faith and community in which they would be raised. Would Paul have chosen such a metaphor for baptism if he had meant to exclude infants? And what about the mentally disabled who can never fully reason on their own?

Secondly, one is admitted to Holy Communion on the basis of his/her baptism. In other words, baptism initiates one into the life of the church community, beginning with the Lord's table. If we expect our children to participate in corporate worship, get serious about God, commit to discipleship, and make disciples (Matt. 28:18-20), they should first have a sense of belonging to the community. Holy Communion, I believe, should then be an important part of a child's early experiences of church because it nourishes this sense of belonging. (Of course, teaching children not to take it in vain is just as important.) Furthermore, the Holy Communion and its liturgy speak so much of God's grace - past, present, and future. Holy Communion is in fact, a sacrament that strengthens, affirms and conveys the grace it symbolises. Must a child/infant, by virtue of his/her baptism, only have access to it when he/she reaches the age of reason? What is the age of reason anyway? Can we, adults, say that we are fully reasonable at our age?

Thirdly, what is baptism? Is it just a public manifestation of a person's conversion or is it more? Is it necessary for salvation? For those who can be baptised, "...Baptism... saves you... not as a removal of dirt from the body but as an appeal to God for a clear conscience, through the resurrection of Jesus Christ" (1 Pet. 3:21). Baptism joins us to Christ's death by which we are set free from the power of sin - because he/she who dies finally escapes the grip of sin (Rom. 6:7). Just as God's people were no longer slaves in Egypt through the water, we are no longer slaves to sin - and we can finally obey God if we wanted to. We can now say NO to sin and say YES to God - a lifelong responsibility and journey. Which parent, given the opportunity and their authority over their children's lives, would not want to avail this grace to them - the ability to say no to sin and say yes to God? "Permit the children to come to Me," Jesus said as His disciples rebuked the mothers bringing their brepha (Greek: infants) to Him so that He might touch them; "and do not hinder them for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these" (Lk. 18:15-16). One day, they must decide for themselves to follow Jesus wholeheartedly. But until then (and who knows what tomorrow might bring), is it not right for parents to bring their brepha through the exodus waters of freedom so that the brepha grow up in a new kingdom?

I am sure that I would be more open to baptising the next infant I have (if ever).

Writing for Lent 2017 over

Less than a month ago, I was asked to be part of a team project requiring me to write for an annual Lent publication for the English Methodist convention. (And so, Lent 2017 came early for me.) Since I have written a few times in the past few years, I thought... hey, no problem! After I said yes to the delightful assignment, I realised that perhaps, I had overestimated my commitment juggling skills. I had forgotten about my music teacher job... and how much it occupies my days like never before - planning, teaching, reevaluating lesson plans, preparing students for the year-end piano concert, learning myself, and practising the piano. Also, I will be traveling around the time my 8 essays are due. Eeeks.

Thus began 2 weeks of frantic I'd-better-begin-this-early-or-I'll-be-in-big-trouble work. It was my job and Sophie that occupied me during the days and my essays in the nights. Exhausting, but well worth it. How satisfying it was to return to this part of my mission on Earth; I could certainly feel God's pleasure while I wrestled away with the sentences and words. How wonderful it is that I finished well before the deadline too - and even had a week to edit my drafts! God be praised.

I, of course, had the best prayer warriors joining me on my writing adventure - including my daughter! To all who prayed, thank you!

Easter 2016

The life and ministry of Jesus are remembered systematically via the annual cycle of the liturgical year - beginning with Advent. 

Devoting time and space to observe the seasons with the general Body of Christ is a meaningful way to grow in one's faith. After all, Christianity is not merely a personal faith but a communal one too. We, like the Israelites, are a people of Bread. Eating manna together in the wilderness made Israel a nation. Satisfying our spiritual hunger on Christ - the Bread of Life - likewise makes us a people. A body. Corporate worship builds up the Body (1 Cor 14:26). As each season of the liturgical year owns its unique mood, theological/Scriptural emphasis, sermon theme, prayers, colours, and traditions... the liturgical year spurs unceasing corporate worship that never needs to grow mundane... simply because there is a sacred time for every angle of Gospel reflection. It is not just about celebrating. It is about maturing a Church that is constantly being scrutinised and attacked, a Church that is vulnerable to false teachers, a Church that is mocked for being deluded and foolish (to say naught about the things we often do to embarrass/discredit ourselves - but may God glorify Himself). The liturgical year is not just about practicing religion. It sets the foundation for the "religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father" i.e. to care for the afflicted and keep oneself uncorrupted by the ways of the world (James 1:27). The liturgical year is not just about spiritual disciplines. It is about love - God's self-giving love for us in Jesus Christ. 

Easter. 

I wasn't too keen on Easter egg hunts (because I'm just not that kind of mom), chocolate, fun parties, and etc. It was quite your typical Sunday for us - except for the fact that we went to church at 10 am for a combined Easter service (which combines the attendees of all three Sunday services). We also didn't sit in the creche like we usually do. Sophie alternated between our laps, a chair, and the floor at the back of the crowded hall. I was pretty distracted. And too warm for my own good. However, I was glad that I was able to, for the first time, communicate to Sophie that church is a serious matter. (Before this, it was tricky.) I am not saying that I don't believe in having fun at church. It's fine to laugh and rejoice. It's fine to play on the slides and swings after service. It's fine to push chairs around the creche if you are a baby/toddler - as long as you don't make too much noise. However, church is not just about these - and I find it hard to teach Sophie that through the creche - where she can be free to roam and wander throughout the service. We, adults, sometimes don't show our kids a stellar example too, by chatting to one another in the creche while the service is ongoing, haha. Sometimes, church can be constraining, discouraging, and the last place you want to be on a Sunday morning (or evening). But we go because we love Jesus and the Body. (Better late than never, haha.) We keep silent out of respect for those who want to listen to the sermon - even if we'd like to shout our lungs out. We give and serve (even when we get peanuts back) so that we bless those within the walls as well as beyond. We forgive those who hurt us because we are family. And we worship because it fortifies the boundaries of Christ's Kingdom on Earth (and we remember that we're its citizens). We do so because Easter happened. Jesus will return. The one who died on the cross is alive. Those who believe in Him are alive in Him. 

Yups, it's a lot to communicate to a little girl in one morning. And we didn't do much ourselves but go sssssh, ssssh, sssssssssssh - mostly. But this shall be our mission throughout Pentecost. 

Happy Easter.

Back from fast-paced Singapore...

...and ironically, a restful vacation.

To my Singaporean friends whom I did not get to meet this round, I am sorry. I had 5 days, and thinking about it, it's not really that short a trip after all. However, I needed much rest and craved time on my own. Therefore, I couldn't schedule in too many meet-ups... except with my prayer partners. 

But yeah, it was a great trip. Walked a lot, read a lot (especially while on the SMRT), had many heart-to-heart talks with my closest friends, ate loads (of dessert), bonded with nature, had a little fun with church work (thanks to my dear roommate who roped me in so determinedly and desperately), and reflected on God... and life.

Sophie didn't make a big fuss over my absence. She believed that I would come back - and I did. (Then again, she is a very secure, independent little girl. It was I who missed her so much - her smell, her cheekiness, and her incessant "Mimi"-s for mummy - that I could get quite homesick.) While I was away, we Skyped, WhatsApped, took pictures of life on our respective sides... and enjoyed the break. Sophie learned to Skype-call me - and she took delight in doing so at the oddest hours of the day, much to my amusement. Anyway, I returned home to a happy, excited toddler who had grown from strength to strength.

So glad to be back in Penang.

I hope to make another trip to Singapore this year - hopefully with Sophie this time. (Yes, I am taking on a Brobdingnagian challenge obviously.)

A reflection: Good Friday 2014

It happened to be my final day working at the HCDI office. It's work from home - from now onwards. Till the baby comes and beyond.

Anyway, it's Good Friday.

For the umpteenth time this week, I wondered why God had allowed me to face the challenges that I yet face today. Some heart-breaking ones even - when it comes to relationships with people. Today, reading through Psalm 42-51 in light of my reflection on Christ's crucifixion (and resurrection), I was comforted - and struck somehow by the irrevocability, sovereignty and grace of God's sacrifice. The following verses especially, had me humbled and mesmerised :

(Taken from the ESV, Psalm 50, emphasis mine):

The Mighty One, God the LORD, speaks and summons the earth 
from the rising of the sun to its setting.
Out of Zion, the perfection of beauty, God shines forth.
Our God comes; He does not keep silence; 
before Him is a devouring fire,
around Him a mighty tempest.
He calls to the heavens above and to the earth,
that He may judge His people:
"Gather to Me My faithful ones, 
who made a covenant with Me by sacrifice!"
The heavens declare His righteousness, 
for God Himself is judge! Selah
(vs 1-6)

Who are we to make a covenant with God? But Jesus first died for us while we were yet sinners. God made the first sacrifice - and because of that, we, the grotesque terrors and rascals we are, savour the fruits of His righteousness while we are found in Christ.

But what sacrifice shall we give God in return?

For You will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it; 
You will not be pleased with a burnt offering. 
The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart, O God, You will not despise."
(Psalm 51:17)

"Offer to God a sacrifice of thanksgiving,
and perform your vows to the Most High,
and call upon Me in the day of trouble; 
I will deliver you, and you shall glorify Me..."
"The one who offers thanksgiving as his sacrifice glorifies Me;
to one who orders his way rightly I will show the salvation of God..."
(Psalm 50:14-15, 23)


Lord Jesus ~ You are indeed the perfection of beauty.

May I know You in my sufferings and brokenness - and as I offer You the sacrifice of thanksgiving, may I be imbued with the joy and life of Your gracious, permanent covenant.

Thank You for the cross, Lord. You are my God, forever and ever. In Your name, amen.

Lent meditation: Lot's Wife and the Pillar of Salt

Pic source

Genesis 19:29 ~ "So it was that, when God destroyed the cities of the valley, God remembered Abraham and sent Lot out of the midst of the overthrow when he overthrew the cities in which Lot had lived."

The destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah.

It was God's judgment upon an irreconcilable, sinful land that resulted in its transformation - a tragic one - from a well-watered haven (c.f. Gen 13:10-13) into a massive cake of dust, ash and smoking remains (c.f. Gen 19:28). A wasteland. Lot's family was spared... of course, sans a wife whose end was rather extraordinary, for she did not return directly to dust - but became a cold pillar of salt. Most of us know the story - she did not do as she was told. She looked back when she wasn't supposed to. A costly choice.

She became part of an inorganic, barren and lifeless monument. A landmark, which must have intrigued passers-by for many years to come. As long as the pillar survived, that is.

Perhaps, the pillar also served as a treat for passing oxen and goats - after all, there is nothing like a salt-lick (if it had been composed of the relevant kind of salt, of course).

"Remember Lot's wife," Jesus said (Luke 17:32). Whether or not He was referring to those with unrepentant affections for the things of the world rather than the things of God and His Kingdom (depending on which school of interpretation you subscribe to), it sounds like a warning. The pillar of salt probably lived on in the minds and hearts of the Jewish people long after it vanished. And now, Jesus had it on His lips, just in case they had forgotten. Remember. Don't forget. Never ever forget.

So what if we forget?

I think we focus too much on why and how she died. Why did she look back - out of fear, fascination, curiosity or reluctance? Why did God allow her to turn into a pillar of salt, when she had taken the first step to flee with Lot - couldn't God have been more merciful? Wasn't she human like the rest of us? Was this a punishment of some sort? Was it Lot's fault - could he have led her better as a husband? Did she transform into a pillar of salt the same way that the frog transformed into a prince upon receiving a true love's kiss - or was she covered with salt from the collapse of something (roof of a cave, etc.) while she watched the destruction behind them and buried beneath/within? Was the phenomenon literal or metaphorical?

We could argue about these things till Jesus returns. Valid arguments, but do they matter so much?

The much bigger picture encompasses God's mercy, grace and faithfulness: "...God remembered..." (Gen 19:29). In contrast, Lot's wife forgot momentarily. That split second. She forgot the angels' warning (Gen 19:17). She forgot why they were running. Perhaps, she thought that there were better things to do than to just keep running. She neglected the urgency of the cause.

Whatever she forgot, the consequence was grave.

Remember Lot's wife indeed. But there is also an indirect implication: remember God's mercy and grace... and the hope we live for.

The culmination of God's Kingdom (c.f. Luke 17:30) and the long-awaited glorification of God's children (c.f. Rom 8) is about God's mercy and grace, as much as it is about His judgment upon an unbelieving world. God remembers His covenant with us through Jesus Christ. We've got to remember to respond to His mercy and grace.

And this is what the season of Lent is about. Let us remember.

5.3.14

Ash Wednesday chapel service ~ simple but meaningful all the same. Foreheads were imposed with ashes in the trace of the cross - a grave sight. O Lord, in Your mercy, hear our prayers and forgive us our sins.

It also happened to be Chik Bu's birthday. We got him "a slice of heaven" (in his own words), i.e. wedge of cake (which he claims has chocolate in it) and sang him a birthday song at the office. Sweet and generous Dr. R took our department out for a nice lunch. All expenses paid. Delightful fellowship.

I ruined one of my drawings by over-shading. The handsome, angelic face of James (one of the 12 disciples) turned as dark, morbid and sinister as that of Count Dracula. In fact, he looks like he has got blood dripping from the corner of his mouth (please pardon my brilliant imagination). Luckily, I didn't draw anything that could qualify as fangs. *Sobs* I pray that liquid paper will do the trick tomorrow... so that I won't have to re-draw that picture.

Piano

Saw a Ritmüller upright piano going for RM11500 (~USD 3508) or so yesterday. Brand new.

A friend had been persuading me to go and have a spin on it. Since I have been thinking of getting an upright piano into my flat for a while (God knows how any upright piano would ever fit into our teeny-weeny elevator), I decided to risk being tempted - and check it out. Why not, right?   

It was quite impressive.

Great price, a surprisingly warm and rich tone... and a purring feel to its keys that had my fingertips pulsating with pleasure, nearly. However, considering that we are expecting a baby soon (on single income) and the monthly installments which are "As low as RMxxx" aren't really that low (at least for us)... I would have to be contented with my Yamaha portable-grand for now. Thoven.

Nevertheless, I felt such peace and gladness in my heart to let Baby S know... that I wanted her more than any piano in the world. That wriggly bundle of loveliness ~ snuggled down deep ~ close to my heart. 

I would rather have S than a Ritmüller upright piano. God has already blessed me much. 

Ash Wednesday. Lent begins.

31 weeks: Season of Lent begins

Lent begins tomorrow - a season of repentance, renewal and confirmation of grace.

The triumph of Easter awaits.

And amidst the preparations for Easter, a certain baby reciprocates the endearments showered upon her by her expectant parents (as well as belly rubs) in her own adorable ways. Like sticking out an arm or a leg or some other indistinguishable body parts... and leaving them there (we'd like to believe that it was on purpose), while we indulge her and make a great fuss over how beautiful she is. More belly rubs (for the mummy - wait, do I sound like I am a dog?) to follow, of course. How fun!

I can tell that she loves the sound of her name. Haha.

Name. My dad saw so much significance in names as well as in the naming of his children that my Chinese name actually says "My name is Grace" - or more literally, "Named Grace".

In the Bible, there was plenty behind each name. A child was given his/her name, based not on how elegant or outstanding the name sounded (and believe me, some were extraordinary). Rather, names described their respective bearers - the essence of certain personal traits, the times in which they were born, good or bad... and for some, their destinies. Names were not only about identity. Names conveyed important messages or history markers to the world, proclaimed through the life and calling of persons, from the day they were born - sometimes even before they were born. As for the One whose victory over sin and death we celebrate this Easter, His name, exalted above all, yet bears the supreme power, authority and deliverance that could be invoked by every faith-filled believer in time of need. Indeed, the name of Jesus Christ is a Refuge for those whose trust and hope are in Him.

We've named our princess after a Bible character (like I told some people)... well, not exactly a person, but rather a personification of something, which all the riches in the world cannot buy - God's pure wisdom. In the Book of Proverbs, God's wisdom is personified as a woman. Accordingly, it is our hope and prayer that our little woman might portray God's wisdom in her thoughts, words and actions, and pursue it eagerly.

Well then, Baby S ~ here's to another good week ahead! Loving thoughts and flying kisses from daddy and mummy.