Making Sweet the Bitter

Haven't been blogging consistently for a while now. Apparently (as a friend notified me), Bing has decided to forget my blog.

Had a couple of rough days the previous week.

To cut the long story short, it was a taste of rejection for me among other things, and it was by my own daughter when she is always so nice to her grandma. Her environment wasn't helping and it seems like she has favourited her grandma and daddy over me too! It hurt and I felt like a failure. The fact that Sophie is now calling grandma and me the same precious "Mama" (which is what you call your mother in Mandarin - and that was what she called me originally, until she confused the Cantonese paternal grandmother "Mama" for my "Mama") rubbed coarse salt into my wounds. Two "mamas" respond whenever she utters that word now. Filled with a lot of resentment for those who claimed that my baby girl would never be confused as well as anguish whenever her "Mama"s are not directed to me, not to mention my hormones were raging thanks to that time of the month, I could have attempted suicide. Did contemplate it in the deepest gulf of my gloom. I was that affected by the whole episode. But thanks to the prayers and empathy of some dear people, I've bounced back a bit. Still feeling more down than up, but still, much better.

Um, if you are mother struggling with the same ordeal, you have my deepest sympathy. May the peace of the Emmanuel comfort you and grant you the joy that makes you strong. No, you are not making a mountain out of a molehill. "Mama" - one of the first few words a baby's physiology of speech will allow her to utter and attach meaning to - is more than a name or title. You who carried your baby in your womb for 10 months or so; you can't explain it but I think I get why you own "mama" so jealously. It is natural to want. Nevertheless, I think the season will pass by. Hang in there, lady.

(Previously, I blogged about the "Mama" ordeal here.)

Anyway, I was thankful that the weekend afforded some time away on our own - husband, daughter and myself. We went back to our own home sweet home, ate out, ordered in pizza, hubby and I watched a movie while S was asleep once... and we explored the Teluk Bahang pier.

Well then, happy thanksgiving, people.

I thank God for the sweet things in life that make the bitter go down.