Sophie's Diaries : A month to her 3rd birthday

The past few months approaching her 3rd birthday have been magical.

S (finally) began sleeping through the night without waking up for milk, she toilet-trained, she began eating proper portions of (solid) food in school instead of just nibbles and loads of milk, feeding her out of the home is no longer barking up the wrong tree, she rinses her mouth (after brushing teeth) at the sink instead of all over herself, she counts objects in order, she dresses herself, etc. 

Wouldn't it be wrong to say that she is more human now? But it sure feels that way to me - and I thank God. It was very nerve-wrecking for me before this - keeping an alien alive. 

Well, I am loving and enjoying her loads. I just want to enjoy her as my only child as long as I can. It's rather like marriage, I suppose. You're aware that you and your other half might want a baby in the future; however, you don't want to rush into that parenthood thingamajig without having enjoyed some years together as a couple first. I know time ticks on and neither the hubs nor I are that young, but really, I know I'll really miss having all that time with her if I ever had another. If you ask me, she's enough. She is exceedingly and abundantly more than I could have asked for or imagined. 

But I speak for myself. She keeps asking us for a baby sibling nowadays, more than ever. She'd pat my tummy once in a while, and ask if the baby was in there already... or why is it getting bigger (sheesh)... She woke up one morning, and said brightly: "Mummy, I dreamed last night... I went back into your tummy... and then, I came out. Mummy, do you want another baby in your tummy?"

Of course, I was wide awake after she popped the question. And a little troubled now. Haha.

We interviewed her this evening on the prospect:

Me: Do you really want a baby brother or sister?

Sophie: I want... baby brother AND sister. 

Me: Sophie, if I have a baby, I won't have so much time for you. Who is going to play with you?

S: I will play by myself.

Me: If the baby cries, what are you going to do?

S: I will sayang the baby.

Me: Who will help me to look after the baby?
S: Sophie!

Me: If the baby comes to you and says, "Jie-jie, bao bao (carry)," what will you do?"

S: I will bao bao the baby very softly (she meant "gently"). Then, if we sit together like this (she gestured in glee toward the bench we were sitting on - hubs, Sophie and myself), baby will sit here... next to me. 

Me: But I won't be able to bao bao you anymore...

S: You can bao bao baby.... You don't need to bao bao me anymore. Daddy will bao bao me.

Did I ever mention that she is a very determined little girl?

Groan. Don't grow up too fast, baby girl. 

I recently read a very good book.

It has inspired me to remove myself from the cult of achievement and "earlier/faster is better" so prevalent in my part of the world, and strain towards a home life full of child-led play, imagination, making teachable moments and growing learners. The flash cards will still have to flash, because Sophie's school uses them, but I have never resorted to use them at home and I won't start. 

Here's toward the last month of her 3rd year. 

Sophie's Diaries : Graduation from a Parenting Course

We did it. As a family.

Yup, Sophie sat through the parenting course with us. She wouldn't have had it any other way. She refused to go off to the creche for babysitting services without us (duh). We told her that she could stay if she kept very quiet throughout (two-and-a-half-hours each session) - and she mostly did, which was amazing, I thought. Win win.

Of course, she needed some help to stay quiet. Her own little chair to sit on, lots of snacks, some toys, some trips to the bathroom, a pillow to nap (she'd hug me when she was tired and fall asleep on my lap), and lots of reassuring hugs (and kisses) as well as shushes. Also, ehem... some warnings that she might have to go to the creche after all whenever she got a little bit noisy. That part was inevitable. Nevertheless, she was generally well-behaved - God be praised - and it was such joy to have her with us throughout the DVD sessions, discussion group and etc. I am so, so proud of my grown-up baby.

Our group (sans one more couple who arrived late yesterday) and our facilitators (first 2 from left to right)

The parenting course was aimed at parents or caretakers of 0 to 10-year-olds. Together, we explored the building of strong foundations in our children's lives, their needs, boundaries that have to be set, healthy relationships that have to be modelled and encouraged, as well as our long-term aims in parenting. It was tremendously helpful to have our group facilitators share their parenting experiences with us; we also discussed our common struggles, especially in disciplining our children (and disciplining them while their grandparents try valiantly to come to their "rescue"). Very encouraging, definitely.

I think the course also helped me as a teacher to children, a majority of whom are below 10. After all, teachers are said to be acting "in loco parentis" while the kids are in their care i.e. "in place of a parent" (latin). While I believe that "in loco parentis" is in the professional context of educating the kids (as in, teachers are educating the kids in place of their parents back home) rather than a parental relationship (which often requires one to provide assistance to the kids beyond professional boundaries that might be inappropriate), we have to be yet mindful of the values they catch from us, the image of God as Shepherd that we portray, their needs, their self-worth, and the boundaries we need to set. Throughout the course, I was reminded of how ripe my mission field of teaching music is for harvest - and how lucky I was to have been equipped with the tools to reap.

Pause. Rewind.

March comes to an end.

A month so pregnant with learning moments for me comes to an end. What will it birth?

Something (some issues with a particular student) came up at work today which made me so grateful for God's continuous help, protection and favour upon me. Sometimes, we get into fixes that we despair over, but in retrospect, such only serve to magnify God's faithfulness toward those who have chosen to believe in Him and thus live in a manner in keeping with repentance. God never leaves His children unattended.

Snapshot

It's snapshots like this that remind me... that my present difficulties will become things of the past and I might regret someday that I was too preoccupied with them (and moving past the season) to treasure the sweet lasts: my last pump of breastmilk, the last toothless grins, the last creases in her baby thighs, her last mee-mee, our last weekend on our own at Eden, the last meal I cooked for us, the last I saw of my engagement ring (don't ask), the last time I stepped foot into the seminary, etc. Lasts are as precious as Firsts. Firsts happen because some things lasted to their end... so that there could be new beginnings.

Sophie's diaries : music lessons

For reasons I shall not divulge here, I have always felt a little apprehensive about giving Sophie music lessons myself.

Until recently. Something changed.

I thought to myself: since she is all ready to learn, I can't afford don't intend to send her for kindermusik programs, and I am not a bad music teacher myself, why not start somewhere? I won't have to take sole responsibility for her music education; I could always send her for formal lessons with a teacher who isn't her mom, if needed (that's my consolation) or the Junior Music Course at Yamaha, but why not homeschool her for now? Also, I'd like to be able to tell her, in the future, that she began learning music at 2+. And that her mom was her first music teacher, haha.

My approach isn't too complicated or kiasu. It's all about having fun: storytelling, crafts, stickers, simple workbooks, dancing, rhythm, solfege, imaginative musical exposure, etc. My ultimate goal is to make the rudiments of music stick in her head for life while she continues to enjoy music as she always has. And may music be the context for teaching her deeper lessons about life, God, and everything else.

We began a week ago. So far so good. It has been a lot of fun for her as well as myself (what with the planning, strategizing, crafts preparation and all). I pray that I will continue to be this motivated.

Supper

I admittedly have supper every night.

It's usually a mug of milky coffee (I know, it's caffeine) with biscuits, crackers or digestives. Not a very big meal (at least to me) and just the right amount of food to help me sleep after supper. It feels like a nice closure to a long day. A small luxury to indulge in. And carbs give you good dreams. Don't quote me on this, but I am absolutely convinced that I'm right.

They say it makes you fat - eating right before bed, carbs too - but I think that's rubbish. The right question should perhaps be: "How can eating supper make me fit?"

I load up with carbs before I sleep because of my morning routine. I am one who believes in exercising first thing in the morning, before breakfast. (I do allow myself a cup of black coffee though.) Firstly, you pump up your metabolism for the rest of the day - which is great, as far as fitness is concerned. Secondly, it is effective output with regard to daily caloric intake; apparently, exercising in the morning has the greatest results. Here is where my supper enhances the effects... The sugars in the carbs are stored by the body as glycogen; the glycogen stores in your muscles are easily mobilized when your muscle contracts (during exercise) and screams for energy. Sufficient glycogen in muscles means a longer, more consistent and greatly satisfying workout. You also get to keep your muscles (which otherwise turn into energy sources when glycogen stores are severely depleted). Muscles keep your metabolic rate high even on the days you don't exercise.

Having said that, of course, if you consume carbs beyond the glycogen storage capacity (which is totally possible especially when it is chocolate digestives), the remaining sugars turn into fat - so don't overeat. Not only at supper, but also breakfast, lunch, tea, dinner, etc. Don't overexercise either.

If you must know, this supper-sleep-gym routine (and understanding the science behind it) has worked wonders for me. It helped me shed the pounds I gained from pregnancy; it keeps me fit; it keeps eating disordered thoughts at bay somehow; and it is what I love returning to after an eating vacation. It feels like going on some sort of diet and yet, it is so delightfully delicious! I look forward to supper every day. Well, on most days, at least.

So YES, eating supper can make you fit. I'll vouch for that.

Saturday nights and Sunday mornings

I work a full day on Saturdays.

My first class begins at 9am. My final class concludes at 6.15pm. Lunch break is at 2.15pm for an hour (or less).

Saturdays are when many Teacher-I-had-no-time-to-practise-the-whole-week students struggle with the aforementioned Teacher. They find her very naggy, unsympathetic, rigid, and utterly resentful to be back in square one after a whole week. And they persist in coming for classes.

In other words, Saturday is the craziest day of my work week - in terms of nature, duration, patience required, and the challenges encountered. When I am feeling particularly positive, I relate to the Israelites gathering manna on the 6th day. "Now on the sixth day, they gathered twice as much bread, two omers for each one..." (Exod. 16:22) Twice as much work done, but twice as much blessings to last me till Monday. However, more often than not, I am not that positive. If I am perfectly honest, I'd say that my motivation to endure the first half of the day is eating lunch... and the second half, eating curry mee at dinner (that's my comfort food). I'm not as angelic a teacher as you think!

As you can probably imagine, I am knackered every Saturday evening. I am so freaking exhausted - physically, emotionally, mentally, etc. - that sleep just doesn't relieve the exhaustion fully, although I savour it. One can never have enough of sleep, I think.

I am always grouchy when I wake up on Sunday mornings. I am wondering what I could do about it.

Sophie's Diaries : Tots' Sunday School

I have mixed feelings about TSS.

On one hand, I love the idea of having my little girl participate in simple Bible-education activities along with other children her age. The teachers are a fun (and godly) bunch; Sophie enjoys singing the songs she learned throughout the week; and it does seem like a more churchy way (whatever that means) to occupy her time while the main service goes on - than her walking around the creche. I am glad that TSS makes her early experiences of church so pleasant.

But on the other hand, I also have my reservations...

Firstly, why do we need our children to spend time away from us while the main service is going on? Why separate them from the space, the music, the liturgy - the adults? So that we will be less distracted? Why not allow them to be part of the main service(s), even if it means staying put in the transparent creche at the back of the hall? Why should TSS be "more meaningful" to our toddlers than the creche? (This is in light of my recent reflection on my creche experiences, which you could read about here.) The "we need an age-appropriate worship and discipleship experience for our kids" argument doesn't make enough sense somehow. So we want to meet their spiritual needs (something that should happen at home throughout the week anyway) by disconnecting them from the life of the general church?  What message do we give our kids when we indicate that they should only sit in worship when the environment, songs, level of language, experiences, and subject matters are "suitable" or "fun"? What do they learn when we send them away from the family gathering because they are supposedly not ready for it? Are family gatherings - and its shared responsibilities as well as fellowship - only for grown-ups? Why do Sunday mornings have to be so "productive" for our little ones anyway? Isn't Jesus into the "slower rhythms of life" (as a friend of mine put it) - abiding, delighting, dwelling, and soaking in God's presence? (Note: there was no TSS in Jesus' time; the children were in their midst.)

Secondly, one parent will need to accompany the toddler to TSS - and this means that he/she will not be able to listen to Scripture with the rest of the congregation in the main hall that week. It was a weird experience to be that parent (I felt like I had missed out on an important weekly routine); and an even weirder experience to sit through the service without my husband (and Sophie) last Sunday.

There you go. Two sides of a coin.