A professional student

Course PM315 just concluded on Friday. I thought I'd begin on the assignments this week - before I start getting distracted by other things - amongst which are house-renovations, house-moving, teaching music, ministry, etc.

This week happens to be a study-break for us, MBTS students. No driving from Sungai Ara to Batu Feringghi at 6.30am in the mornings. (I am so not a morning person.) Yaay! >.< Also, I am going to take on two new piano students this Wednesday at FMC - so I am very excited. I pray and hope that I'd be a good, dedicated and edifying teacher to the both of them. I'd like to teach with passion and promise. God, please help me honor You with my work!

We will be in KL to attend David and Yvonne's wedding this weekend. I will be co-leading worship with Abishek ~ and this means that I'd better take good care of my voice. And now that I know better (after my painful episode of angular stomatitis) - mouth too! It was sure tough to sing with excruciating pain in one side of the mouth. I could not articulate my words properly, couldn't hold in my saliva while I sang (ewwww...) and sounded as slurred as a sufferer of Bell's Palsy. In short, I was so tortured. I will never let that happen again if I can help it.

Looking forward to seeing my side of the family again.


GROWTH PLANS. Dr. Jeanie Shim brought up this topic during our mentoring group session last Friday. I think it is a very relevant topic for me to ponder on at this season of my life.

Where am I going in life? What does God intend for me to aim for this season with regards to my vocation, equipping and education? How am I to proceed and progress in the present having learnt the lessons the previous season taught? Am I clinging onto certain things or nurturing certain emotional/spiritual/physical habits that are hindering my growth? Is there any realignment I should do relative to God's purposes for me?

Recently, I laughed sheepishly with somebody about me becoming a "professional student". The term (for me) bore negative connotations of course; I disliked the fact that I might qualify as one. It was already quite humbling to happily accept that I am a sort of nerd, haha. I felt most guilty for enjoying my nerdiness too. However, I've begun to look at the facts with a different perspective. Fine... so perhaps, I might hold multiple degrees, keep taking courses and writing academic papers (whilst I am still young), not hold a profession related to these earned degrees, etc. In the past few months, I've had some people encourage me to "go all the way" and obtain my DMin or PhD. However, a question in my heart today is this: what if it is God's will for me to be a "professional student" because of a destiny, yet invisible and yet unknown to me? A destiny that requires me to have studied music, medicine, theology, languages and whatever else I am led to study? I am in the seminary today because God moved me in this direction. And I do find a lot of satisfaction and fulfillment in using my brains to research and write papers. I work (teach music), so that I can not only fund my studies but also pastor and at the same time learn concepts to be advocated for the betterment of Kingdom service. I would love to make a difference in the lives of others (for Christ's sake) both through music as well as through writing relevant papers/training leaders. Therefore... perhaps, it would be necessary for me to be a "professional student". If so, how do I pace myself and plan my growth in order that I become the most excellent "professional student" that I can ever be... for the sake of Him who made it possible for me to become one, according to His perfect will? When I look back at this post many years ahead, I desire to be filled with awe, thanksgiving and a greater love for God. And I know deep down inside - that I certainly shall.

Having said the above, I am thankful that God has never left me to walk alone. I have a wonderfully supportive husband (whom I sometimes torture with my fickle-mindedness), a graciously accommodating family, a strong spiritual support network, wonderful seminary mates, inspiring lecturers.... and last but not least, the best Academic Dean I've ever had to counsel me like a father whenever I am confused. It is indeed amazing how an invisible God makes Himself so tangible and real through the hearts, hands and voices of community. He has provided me everything I need ~ I lack nothing.

The ponderings of my heart are yet many - but I will stop here so that I can begin on my assignments.