First Love

I'm done with Jim Cymbala's "Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire". It was such a brilliant book. Challenging to read, extremely convicting of my sins and yet intimately connected to the burden on my heart for prayer. Divine things happen when we pray, whether we see it or not in the physical. God is indeed looking for men and women who will cry out to Him, in the name of Jesus - so that He would deliver them and they would thus honor Him. Those who would not just pray for their own needs - but for the needs of their neighbors, friends, loved ones, community and nation. Today I am moving onto "Fresh Faith: What happens when real faith ignites God's people".

(Yups, at the same time, I speed-read and reviewed Fisher and Ury's "Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In" yesterday - only because it's part of my assignments.)

Subsequently, I will wrap up my little "reading-retreat" with next weekend's worship team retreat. Honestly, I have a deadline coming up. No, wait - two deadlines! However, I felt that it was necessary to break for a little spiritual revival in my own life. In the past few days, I did my housework as usual. Served the hubby with much joy. Did some adventurous stuff. Tried to get into some assignments. On top of these, I also made (much) more time for my first love. Partially yes, to those of you who guessed reading. But ultimately, it was so that I could be in touch with my first love for Jesus.

The Enemy - Satan - will come and steal, kill and destroy our burning embers of devotion for the Lord - through worldly cares, over-work, discouragements, failures, temptations, sickness and loss. And so we tragically forsake our first love for Jesus. We usually can't change our circumstances even if we wanted to. But we can be mindful of our responses to them. For me, I admit that I am a person who will become a hollow shell of my former self when I get jaded. I realize that if I do not guard my heart and stay close to God as well as my "Jonathans", I lose a sense of my unique calling, the dreams in me that were birthed by the Holy Spirit, etc. When these get stolen - I grow bitter at life, I hate waking up in the mornings and I get cranky toward people. And then, I'll pick quarrels with Ben, haha. (A very predictable progression indeed.) At times such as these, I am always grateful when God jolts me back to reality (even though I can be some tough nut to crack). It's like how He addressed the Ephesian church in Rev 2:2-5, "I know your deeds, your work and your perseverance... Yet I hold this against you. You have forsaken your first love. Remember the height from which you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place." Sharp words, scary even - but so filled with love and grace. Don't you see, He's a God of second chances? More than second chances...

I am not one who has it all figured out of course. But I want to always long for a closer, renewed and refreshed walk with Him. And therefore, I am looking forward to reading "Fresh Faith".