LSE and the verdict

Went out with my covenant sister, Ji... who is currently back in Penang for a holiday. We ate a Queensbay and had coffee.

I realized something when I was talking to Ji today about what I should be doing after I graduate from MBTS. I am glad that she pointed this out to me gently:

I have low self-esteem. It's much "higher" than it used to be (thank God!), but it's still low. I'm still intimidated by apparent and imagined "Goliaths" - even when it comes to doing the things which God has been showing me that He will give me the grace to do. I'm scared of failing, being mocked at, being mediocre and that I will never match up to people's expectations. I guess, I need to change the way I think. Whether battles are won or lost - it all begins in the mind. O God, please help me.

I don't know why this is a big problem for me today. Perhaps, it's because I grew up in a very performance-hallowing environment.

Anyway, today I found out that I will be still in Penang for at least a year or so. I am both happy and upset. Please cheer me up and tell me that Penang is a nice place to live in.