David

A revised post ~

Two years ago, I was slogging on a rather complicated assignment for Mrs. L's "Conflict Dynamics" course. The paper was to be a sort of analysis of any conflict that has been described in the Bible - so I chose the one between Saul and David. I was supposed to read about the entire conflict and apply what I had learned from the course (using the right terminologies) - looking out for many different elements such as focus of conflict, issue of conflict, appeals in conflict, stages of conflict, resolution, result, etcetera etcetera etcetera, baa baa baa....

Halfway through my assignment, I REALLY regretted doing my assignment on the conflict between Saul and David, because it was long and complex - not to mention I was pressed for time. In fact, I (dramatic as ever) fell into a little depression and contemplated giving up on the assignment several times, even if it meant that I would fail the course. I was also quite ready to give King Saul a psychiatric evaluation. He seemed mental toward the end... However, after I finished doing it (yes, you can let out that sigh of relief - I didn't fail - in fact, I received a good grade, thank God), I was thankful that I DIDN'T give up.

I have always wanted to understand the Psalms better - especially those David wrote while he was being pursued by Saul for his head - when he had to keep running for his life. Having delved deep into the conflict between Saul and David, I could certainly appreciate the agony, anguish, grief and urgency David portrayed in his writings much better. It strikes me as strange - in the story (1 Samuel 16-31), David did not appear to be even half the melancholic person he actually was. I mean, we should have known - he was a gifted musician who played such God-anointed music - that could even relieve Saul of the evil spirit that tormented him (1 Sam 16:14-23). Most of the excellent musicians I know are sensitive, melancholic people! But David's psalms reveal so much more of the private contemplations that backed up his heroic character. Lamentations, colourful language and wishful thinking were common (even resentful sometimes - very human) - but more than anything, he truly trusted and believed that God would deliver him mightily. He clung onto God and drew strength from Him. He praised God all the time, regardless. Could it be for that reason, I wonder, that God was pleased to deliver Saul into David's hands - not only once, but twice?

David's habit of continually calling on God probably did not only begin when he was pursued by Saul. It was likely that he was already doing this even when he was a nobody - an unknown shepherd boy watching the sheep in the pasture - being looked down upon by his own brothers. Yes, even before he had known that he was going to slay a giant one day and be the anointed king of Israel - God had already David's heart (1 Sam 16:7). David had already, if I may use the word, intrigued God - long before anyone else saw any potential in him - because he was somebody after God's own heart. He was ready to yield to God's purposes rather than his own.

Reflecting on this makes me remember a message I heard, preached once upon a time. I can't remember word for word - but I do remember the impression I got from it. Yes, we have been all created for God's purposes - and we do have unique life-assignments from God. However, God usually doesn't impose His plans on us until we ourselves choose to humble ourselves, earnestly seek Him and yield to Him --- even when we know that it means a possible "cleansing journey" through the Refiner's furnace so that we would be vessels suitable for use.

Many times, I find it so difficult to yield to God. Humanly speaking, I cannot stand not being in control of things and I'm certainly most weak and disobedient at times. However, I have come to realise that if we ask God to align our hearts according to His so that we would willingly desire the things He desires, He does graciously help us to find the paradigm shift that we need.

And there would be all-surpassing peace.