The introvert blogs...

Today, time went by extremely quickly.

For a change of environment, I did my assignments at the Border's Starbucks Cafe in Queensbay Mall. Bumped into Eunice (a fellow seminarian) while I was traipsing around the mall after lunch - before I settled down at the cafe. I felt incredibly encouraged to see her. You can say that our short encounter lifted my spirit plenty of notches higher. We caught up a little, standing outside Padini Concept Store - and I realized how much I've missed the folks at MBTS when I haven't been around.

I will miss my seminary mates even more after I graduate in November. *Sob!* :'(

Well, I thank God for Penangites like Ai Hua and Vanessa who will still be around even after we've all graduated. And some other faithful close friends (church and non-church). I am still in dire need of gelling into the Penang community - even after like 5 years on this island. There is no proper sense of belonging yet, whatsoever. Perhaps, that is the hard part of being an introvert - and a melancholic one too. I make close friends with certain people wherever I go (by God's grace, the friendships grow really strong), stick to them till we need to go separate paths and then there would be inevitably this period of "mourning"/feeling very disconnected... even though we would still keep in contact and maintain the friendships long-distance - some more faithfully than others. When my friends left me in Penang after our med school graduation in 2008, I suffered quite a loss. In fact I grieved as if I had lost a leg and an arm - so to speak. (Thankfully God was merciful; He gave me back a new "leg" and a new "arm" - after a little waiting.) And I'm afraid that I might experience that all over again pretty soon. *terrified* My only comfort is that my God is faithful - and He is the same yesterday, today and forevermore.

Maybe, that is the ultimate reason why I keep wanting to leave Penang. It isn't about Penang. (Penang isn't such a bad place to be in. Everyone wants to come to Penang - whether it's for the authentic food, a more laid-back kind of lifestyle, work or the properties. In fact, my dream was to live and study in Penang when I was a little. There are great people on this island too - some of whom have become my good friends.) Rather, it is about my affinity toward the people who became family to me over a period of time when I was in many difficulties. And when I miss people, I miss them hard. Good memories are precious to me - I depend on them pretty much when I am emo-ing. Thank God for an excellent, photographic and videographic (is there such a thing?) memory. He must have lovingly built that in me, knowing that I would need it to cope with life, haha.

I believe God made me the way I am for good purposes. It's just that I need to turn to Him for strength when the way I am wired at times makes me vulnerable. Nobody can and should take the place of God in my life.

I honestly don't know what I would do without Ben - my Penangite hubby. He is the God-sent extrovert who keeps me from getting too lonely, complements me well and forces me (in a good sense) to join him in making friends - anytime and anywhere! :)