Right now, I am thinking of two women in the Bible: Sarah and Hannah.
Both were barren and nearly hopeless; in both cases a son was desired. However, one (Hannah) eventually did the right thing - prayed desperately... while the other (Sarah) took a short-cut with equal desperation. (It did occur to me that their different reactions were facilitated by their different personalities.) Even though God blessed both in the end according to His sovereign will, the latter's actions brought about non-erasable, negative consequences that had to be braved. So it really matters how we respond to our perceived lack.
Anyway...
I digressed.
I wasn't really going to talk about the different reactions to our perceived lack and their consequences. Just pondering on the lives of the above-mentioned two women got me off-track. However, let us zoom into this fact: both women were extremely blessed - exceedingly and abundantly more than they could have asked or imagined. Not because they had responded perfectly to their barrenness. In fact, nobody did. Even though Hannah was eventually led to pray to the Lord in her "deep anguish" (1 Sam 1:10) she did spend many years prior to that weeping, mourning and starving herself when her rival tormented her repeatedly. Both Sarah and Hannah had no real credit to claim. Rather, God had had plans to bless them in their barrenness. In His own ways and in His unique timing.
The women had desired sons so that the reproach and shame of their barrenness could be removed (it was a big thing for wives to be barren in those ancient times). But it was only after they had faced the facts that they were indeed hopeless on their own and that it was by God's grace alone that they could be redeemed... after they had surrendered the matter into His hands and had fallen peacefully asleep in His will (so to speak), God greatly gifted them - unimaginably. And so, both women savored God's glory and grace. For Sarah, she was no longer shameful and barren - but more than that, her miracle son was included in the lineage of Jesus Christ. For Hannah, she was no longer shameful and barren - but more than that, her miracle son became one of Israel's greatest prophets. I would say that compared to other women who had no problems with child-bearing, Sarah and Hannah were one of the most gifted and blessed child-bearers in the Bible...to make no mention of Mary!
Gifts are never earned. Rather, we can only earn the rightful wages/reward of our efforts - indirect blessings from God who gives us the health and ability to be fruitful of course. Nevertheless He desires to gift us with more - when we merely delight in Jesus Christ and surrender our lives to Him - with what we could never have obtained by our own humanly efforts... in order that we may truly see and savor His glory and grace. So that others too can see and savor His glory and grace when they see God's provision in the most barren aspects of our lives. St. Irenaeus from the 2nd century said it well when he summed up what "God's glory" meant: "The glory of God is a man fully alive..." Indeed, such abundant life is what Jesus meant to give when He was sent to dwell among us, to be crucified for our sins and to resurrect till He comes again. (cf. John 10:10)
What we have in our hands can be appreciated and enjoyed more when we remember that our hands were empty in the first place... and God, by His grace, filled them to overflowing. However, isn't it so difficult to stop working with our hands and draw near to God just as they are - empty? Just as we are - empty? Even if we gained everything in the world by the work of those very hands, we will still be lacking, without the touch of God's own immortal hands in our lives.
Meeting up with some friends today brought me to face the fact (again) that I have such limited capacity to buy the many things that I'd like and to fund the many things that I want to do. However, the beautiful inner-voice of the Holy Spirit reminded me of how rich and blessed I am in the Lord, who owns everything in the world. I have been blessed with all the provisions I needed to finish medical school, study in the seminary and go on the most satisfying mission/ministry trips (including one to Europe). I have been blessed with the best friends in the world. My husband and I were blessed with all the provisions we needed to furnish our first nest, organize a wedding, go for a smashing honeymoon, etc. (more to come) Ben was blessed with the provisions to be able to move his parents to a nice, new home back in year 2008 - and they even received their salvation whilst staying in their new place (far away from their old "ghosts"). And to think of how very lacking we are in the eyes of the world... Really we are. But the way God has stretched our resources immensely and provided for every need (physical, emotional, mental, financial, social, spiritual, etc) totally amazes us!
All glory be unto Him.
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