Midnight Rendezvous

I am one of those people who find it difficult to fall asleep.

I hardly nap in the afternoons even when I am sleep-deprived - partially because I feel that it's such a waste of time (for me at least) and partially because I know that I can never do "power-naps" like some people I know. These people have proven themselves capable of just setting things aside, falling asleep in a jiffy and springing up from their slumber all bright-eyed and fresh after a mere 15 minutes! *Pouts*

For me, 15 minutes (sometimes more) is the time I need to settle down and fall asleep. When I finally fall asleep, I somehow move very quickly to the deeper stages of sleep from which I can take a full hour to wake myself up properly. Unless I am extremely anxious (eg. during an exam season), I can never wake up before the first hour of my nap is past - or I will feel dizzy and hungry. Consequently, the whole process of napping can take up to 3 hours. When I am finally up, I will feel even more tired than I was before the nap. So as you can see, naps are kinda counter-productive for me. I never made it a habit to nap in the afternoons since I outgrew my childhood and I will not even try.

Anyway, I digressed. Was going to say that I found it difficult to fall asleep last night - and so I came out into the sitting room to spend some time in the Word and prayer. The rain was beating down a rhythm upon our tympanic awning outside and I thought... how marvelous it was that while I felt so physically alone in the middle of the sitting room, God was there with me... and His Word which I was about to read was far more alive than the rain outside. Read through Psalms 40-60 and found myself pondering on God as our Refuge in time of trouble, since it is the common theme laced through these passages and because I am very much in need myself.

Refuge - God's provision of our greatest need during our troubles. Not merely money, opportunities, eventual breakthroughs, deliverance, etc... but firstly Himself and His presence where we are stilled to wait and hope. Our stronghold (Ps 59:16).

Refuge - not where the arrogant can mock and condemn or where those who lapse into falsehood can influence (Ps 40:4), but where the God of Truth reigns... the God who has high regard for us (Ps 40:5)

Refuge - a hiding place till all destruction has passed us by. (Ps 57:1) A hiding place while God works out what we will never be able to work out on our own.

Refuge - God's presence where He commands all lovingkindness and truth (lit: faithfulness) to give us peace. Refuge - where we are helped by His presence (Ps 42:5, 46:1).

A final thought that came to me, while I meditated on Psalm 40 ~ would we have even appealed to God's Refuge if we had not been in the pit of destruction and miry clay?