Brothers, "pet brothers", spiritual brothers and such ~ random thoughts

I don't have an older biological brother.

Always wished I had one. I even wished that I had a long-lost older brother (whom my parents never told us about) who would suddenly show up on our doorstep one day.

At school, I'd envy the girlfriends who had older "pet brothers" and could call them "kor" (Chinese term that translates "older brother")... Sigh. Haha.

(I'm not sure if it's just a Malaysian thing - but a pet brother, at least in my schooling days, was a guy friend who is more than a normal guy friend to a (usually-pretty) girl ~ almost a best friend in fact ~ but less than a boyfriend. He might have taken a special interest in her to agree to be her "pet brother" when requested; but since she doesn't like him in the romantic way, he accepts the "pet brother" status to be close to her and to protect her from bullies. So close that he would have the first privilege to know her secrets, her crushes, etc. Now that I look back, I find the "pet brother" concept kinda wrong. But it's just my opinion; no offense! Perhaps there were "pet brothers" who sincerely wanted to be brothers to their "pet sisters". OK, stop it already!)

Unfortunately (or fortunately), nobody wanted to be my "pet brother". (:P)

I guess I was too nerdy - or too involved in a thousand-and-one things to look like I have time for special relationships like that. Plus I wasn't very pretty or outspoken or dramatic or witty with my words. I kept my thoughts to myself and was too shy to hang around the guys because of my low self-esteem. I guess you can say that I was prim and proper too. As for the guys who did take an interest in me ~ none of them were the "I want to be your pet brother" kind. Ahem. Imagine ~ nerdy guys who admired nerdy girls like me and wrote stuff in my year-end autograph book that cracks me up whenever I read between the lines today; an eccentric writer of drama scripts (hm, I was even the heroine in his romantic skit once - thankfully it was just a script and it never got acted out); admirers of my art-work (and probably not me); etc. Sigh.

Anyway...

Today I thought of some of my older Christian brothers whose paths crossed mine when we least expected - and I thanked God for His blessing of these meaningful friendships; for how He loved me and helped me through these wonderful brothers. Strangely, He taught me volumes of good lessons on being a godly woman, godly sister, godly wife, missionary and etc. through these men too.

...which brings me on to another thought...

When you are single...
You know how a particular guy can be very nice and helpful to you (and I mean respectful, gentlemanly kind of nice with marked boundaries and stuff) ~ and people start teasing you about "so-and-so must especially like you" when all the guy is trying to do is to be a good brother and friend (as he is to other sisters-in-Christ)?

My natural reaction to such comments ~ I'd start shying away from the guy or stop letting him help me. It is a defense mechanism of course. Why? Because I was very afraid that I would develop the wrong feelings for the guy (because of the teasing)... and eventually get hurt. Been there, done that.

At worst, I'd go all out to avoid him.

With regards to a particular brother-in-Christ who is on my mind now ~ I am just very thankful that that amazing brother-in-Christ did not let such rumours/my defense mechanisms affect how he treated me; neither did he stop caring for me. One day, after some weeks of observing my strange, new behaviour, he just said, "Hmm... I know why you are doing this...it's OK la, I understand..." and left it there. (Left me feeling very touched and guilty too.) He then acted as if nothing had happened. For this, I truly respect him. Thankfully, our friendship and "sibbling-relationship" was strengthened through this incident. When he prayed with me and blessed me before I got into courtship with Ben (some years ago), it was one of those beautiful, precious moments in life when I wished that time could slow down. And maybe standstill for a while.

Anyway...

Brothers, I am thankful for you. Thank you for loving me.