Friday, 19 October 2012

EDs and voice training

Like I mentioned in some previous posts, I have a history of eating disorders (EDs). (You can click on "Eating Disorders" under the EASY LINKS section on the right side of my blog-page to read more of my "writes" on it.)

For those who only recently began following my blog... my EDs in a sort of nutshell: I had them for over a decade ~ anorexia nervosa, bulimia, compulsive eating and the likes. You could always ask me personally and I will be glad to elaborate (don't want to go into details here). Today, I still struggle a bit from time to time with self/body-acceptance ~ but I don't live the lifestyle or possess the mindset of an eating disordered person; and therefore I don't qualify as an eating disordered person anymore. 

I owe every part of my journey to recovery to Jesus Christ. 

It was only by looking at my illness in the light of my salvation in Him that I was able to truly hope, persevere and choose life over death. It was through His power, grace and the unconditional love He had shown me through my church friends that I was able to transform and heal... and the healing process continues, even today. For this season in time, against the backdrop of voice training...

Regarding voice training... 

Recently, I realized that it has become much easier to love and accept my body since I took up voice training. I don't see it as singing lessons - because it does so much more for me than merely helping me to sing better. Our voices are a total of who we are beyond skin-deep. Our voices reflect the well-being of our bodily functions, the regular meditations of our hearts and minds, as well as our spiritual landscape. Voice training ultimately leads one (while he/she engages in the process of setting his/her voice free) to appreciate the human anatomy; deal with the skeletons in one's closet; and most importantly, draw near to God (who has given us the breathing mechanisms into which we tap when singing). These aspects are valuable for  recovery from eating disorders - especially for those who have warped body images. 

Furthermore, since I'm a med school graduate, my voice teacher loves talking physiology at lengths with me - and so, we've explored some physiological mechanics of the musculoskeletal and nervous systems of the body in the light of singing. Via practical experiments and experiential awareness. (How did I get myself into such a nerdy situation? 8-P) I now love my body much more (despite the imperfections and fat) because I've reconciled with it more than ever - thanks to voice training. We are good friends now.

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