That's what loved ones are for

From yesterday's emotional hiccup ~ it kinda grew worse... and I am quite sad and depressed today. I am also angry at my own emo-ness. Hmph.

I hope that... it ain't them, hormones. Or that I've been immersing myself in too much emofying music. Or perhaps, I have not been exercising enough self-discipline with regards to the thoughts I dwell on. Mind over matter. Whatever.

Picture source

When one is depressed, one tends to remain in a very myopic state. The big picture gets out of the picture. (Pardon the pun!) Mountains are made out of molehills ~ and how these mountains seem to mock! Suddenly, everything and everyone seem to be against you. Sleep is temporary relief; but one can never get enough of it. On the other hand, when the sun sets in the evening, despair turns up a few notches. Why? Because one realizes that a new day is dawning even while night falls. He/she resists sleep so that TOMORROW would be delayed in its coming. Why? Because those giants and their shadows seem to appear bigger every new day. (And my eye-bags too!) A vicious cycle, indeed. 

Not all depressed people behave like that of course. And not all eye-bags, I'm sure.

There can be such healing in meaningful talks with loved ones. They are the people whom God sends to remind you that nothing can separate you from His love. They embody God's acceptance despite our misgivings and shortcomings... and indeed, God encourages us through their words and deeds. And hugs.

What would I do without them? :')

I am reminded today that the loneliness I feel in times like this can be helped by changing my focus. Minding the "spectacles" through which I view my world. Looking at the big picture rather than zooming in on the fact that I am lonely, why I am lonely and the works. Being thankful and contented over what I have been richly blessed with. Appreciating my husband, my close friends, my best friend, etc. Staying close to them, rather than isolating myself from them.

Talking about my husband (I did listen to a sermon yesterday which implied that we should not be broadcasting stuff which are meant to be private affairs - but I guess this isn't too private and neither is it anything particularly braggy) ~ but I thank God that he tries his best, during my depressive episodes, to patiently puts up with my nonsensical moods, random tears and melancholic sighs even when they might sometimes bother him.... and that he gives me ample space to grow.

You are my home, hubby. A God-given home which I can always return to at the end of the day and rest. 

Even while my leg gets pulled...