God's Timing

I am admittedly, a very impatient person. 

(I can imagine - if Ben were to read this - he would chuckle and say, "So what's new?")

I find it very trying to wait, especially when it is a life and death matter. And many things are life and death matters to me. Haha. 

You can probably tell that I am some kind of Type A control freak too. I make plans well ahead of time. (This has been a habit since I decided in Form 4 that I was going to study medicine in the future). I execute plans well ahead of plans. I anticipate drawbacks in my own plans. The adrenaline rush enables me to plan my fight or flight responses as far as possible (of course, physiologically it is impossible). And I am often flabbergasted over time's seeming indecisiveness ~ whereby everything seems to be unusually fast and unusually slow. It can be very demanding and draining for me, with too many things going on in my head. A first world problem, no doubt.

I think I got it from mom. *Trying to put the blame on someone* :P But she didn't live very long ~ and I don't want her stress-induced illnesses. Indeed, I want none of them.

Anyway, I am a work in progress. 

I thank God that He has been working on me (even though the process can be excruciating) and is still working on me. Music, medicine, the seminary, ministry and preaching have been great schools of patience. Oh, marriage and other relationships too. How could I leave these out? :) It is in the context of secure relationships, we develop resilience or some kind of elasticity. Annoyance and impatience with people dents us like anything, but love and its nourishment make us bounce back faster the next time we are annoyed and impatient ~ because we are learning to trust, be vulnerable, accept and let go. And leave all things to God. 

Even watching movies (something I did not do much of before I left home) teaches me patience. I am thankful that I can wait to know the ending of the story now ~ instead of reading the synopses and spoilers beforehand!

Such schools of patience are curing me of my itch to plan too much. I still plan (and I don't think we can totally cut out the planning) ~ but not as obsessively as before.

The Word of God in Proverbs 16:9 (NASB) always reminds me: "The mind of man plans his way, But the LORD directs his steps." I would rather have God's way and timing than messing up in life because I insisted on my own.

I also like the paraphrase of Ecclesiastes 3 in The Message because it suggests in a more contemporary language what we could be doing while waiting, instead of fretting:

"There’s an opportune time to do things, a right time for everything on the earth:

^2-8 A right time for birth and another for death,
A right time to plant and another to reap,
A right time to kill and another to heal,
A right time to destroy and another to construct,
A right time to cry and another to laugh,
A right time to lament and another to cheer,
A right time to make love and another to abstain,
A right time to embrace and another to part,
A right time to search and another to count your losses,
A right time to hold on and another to let go,
A right time to rip out and another to mend,
A right time to shut up and another to speak up,
A right time to love and another to hate,
A right time to wage war and another to make peace.

^9-13 But in the end, does it really make a difference what anyone does? I’ve had a good look at what God has given us to do—busywork, mostly. True, God made everything beautiful in itself and in its time—but he’s left us in the dark, so we can never know what God is up to, whether he’s coming or going. I’ve decided that there’s nothing better to do than go ahead and have a good time and get the most we can out of life. That’s it—eat, drink, and make the most of your job. It’s God’s gift.

¹⁴ I’ve also concluded that whatever God does, that’s the way it’s going to be, always. No addition, no subtraction. God’s done it and that’s it. That’s so we’ll quit asking questions and simply worship in holy fear.

¹⁵ Whatever was, is. Whatever will be, is. That’s how it always is with God.

^16-18 I took another good look at what’s going on: The very place of judgment—corrupt! The place of righteousness—corrupt! I said to myself, “God will judge righteous and wicked.” There’s a right time for every thing, every deed—and there’s no getting around it. I said to myself regarding the human race, “God’s testing the lot of us, showing us up as nothing but animals.”

^19-22 Humans and animals come to the same end—humans die, animals die. We all breathe the same air. So there’s really no advantage in being human. None. Everything’s smoke. We all end up in the same place—we all came from dust, we all end up as dust. Nobody knows for sure that the human spirit rises to heaven or that the animal spirit sinks into the earth. So I made up my mind that there’s nothing better for us men and women than to have a good time in whatever we do—that’s our lot. Who knows if there’s anything else to life?"


We've got to live life to the fullest whilst waiting. Easier said than done ~ but fulfilling when done.

May God help me to quit asking questions and simply worship Him in holy fear.