The semester that was

In a few days time, I will bid Austin and my husband farewell ~ and return to Penang.

A new semester at the seminary (as well as in life) awaits. 

I was so tired at the end of the last semester --- that I just packed up my bags after my final assignments and replacement classes (for my students) were done --- and flew off in glee. And yet, relief trembled in me, as though I had no right to feel it. I eventually decided that I would not not give much thought to how I could be more efficient and effective in my upcoming semester (especially with the new ministry commitments in place) until I had rested sufficiently and come to terms with the semester that was.

Ah, well, then... with regard to January-May 2013 ~

Beginning classes and work again in January this year was different from any other Januaries before. As many of you know, it was for me, a little like trying to accelerate in the middle of a long-distance run, right after an ankle was wrenched. The finishing line suddenly seemed like a myth. I would be lying if I said that I was joyful, inspired and motivated all throughout the semester. I was not. The thought of running away has crossed my mind and seduced me more times than I care to count. I was actually happy whenever I was sick, depressed and resentful at times and no matter how I tried not to grumble, grumbling would leak out of me once in a while - like gas from the gastrointestinal tract of a painfully-flatulent person. I now look back with both appall and amusement, on how I must have consistently troubled my faithful listeners (those lucky, God-sent few) with my sighs, raves and rants - and yet, they put up with me so patiently. (They probably prayed a lot as they did.) One or two even gave me some cheese to go with the whine. They have my deepest apologies and gratitude.

Indeed, it is nothing short of a miracle - God's miracle - that I coped. To count my blessings --- I did have quite some amazing classes to attend and delicious papers to write (even though I dreaded beginning on them). My studies and books were fully provided for by an anonymous giver. New opportunities for ministry and missions were availed - after a very long wait. I was able to make it to Singapore in March to meet up with friends who mean the world to me. Relationships were established and strengthened. The children, whom I teach, do come for classes with happy faces (even when they "forget" to practise). I received a 10-year Visa for the States, when I least expected. Finally, we were able to save up enough funds to fly me over to Texas in order that I could spent three lovely weeks here with Ben. Indeed, God has been faithful to grant me His gracious help.

I was climbing the Enchanted Rock of Texas with Ben on Saturday (for more reading on the Enchanted Rock, click on link) and I will be honest - there were parts of the climb when my legs felt like jelly and my fingers like butter, especially when I looked back or looked down the steeper edges. By the time we neared the top - the wind was thundering intensely around my ears, my eyes were tearing from the wind's force and I could hardly stand up without feeling like I would be swept away. But deep down inside, a sense of peace and calm grew as I continued climbing. I was assured that... despite the craziness going on around me, I would be all right somehow - because my life is in the hands of a God who is greater than all the mountains or rocks I would ever climb. 

I pray that this assurance would go with me into the next semester and beyond.