When Simplicity is Not so Simple

One of the kinds of people whom I find very exhausting and trying when I'm either hurting or stuck in a rut...

...are those who make my problems sound so "simple" - and they are really convincing too, in the sense that they can even make me think of myself as weak and stupid for not being able to deal with such "simple" stuff.

"You should do this... I've/So-and-so has been through this situation X... Y was done and it worked, hallelujah! And then there was another situation Z... Y was done and it also worked. So easy. Don't worry. Trust God."

And then I go home and try Y for a while... it doesn't necessarily work... and in such cases, I finally give up, more discouraged than ever.

When I had eating disorders, I hated it most when people kept telling me to EAT. "Eat properly - don't count calories, stop yourself, just focus on balanced meals - Don't purge your food, the acid will damage your teeth and throat - You are beautiful the way you are, you don't need to be skinny." (Today, I still get annoyed whenever people scrutinise my eating habits and make uncalled-for comments.) As if it were so simple! I sometimes catch myself saying these things to sufferers and end up gnashing my teeth. The truth be told, most ED-sufferers know what is right and what is wrong. It's just hard to do the right thing. Sometimes you can't. Sometimes you don't want to - for various reasons. Sometimes you fear doing the right thing. Or sometimes, an underlying issue needs to be dealt with before one unlearns destructive acts. Simple but hard. I took more than ten years to get well. If it weren't for God's grace, I would have taken twice the number of years at least.

Empathise, people! Listen and emphathise. Don't judge. And you don't need to prove the simplicity of the problems faced by that unfortunate being (or solve them). Just pray and listen and empathise. Let God work.

I'm learning as well... to be kind.