Monday 23 September 2013

Post-weekend: Still sick

It has been a mind-blowingly exhausting weekend for me. All I wanted to do (and ended up doing at the randomest moments of the day) was to curl up somewhere and sleep away. There were loads of work to be done at the same time - a major paper to be worked on and thus... loads of research and reading to be braved; choir rehearsals (actually I missed a hardcore one - Friday's); a church-wide CG gathering on Saturday evening; and etcetera. My body just wouldn't co-operate with my will. I spent most of my awake moments dragging myself through the myriads of activities, fighting sleep, fighting sick (I can't look at most kinds of food or think "food" without feeling sick) and praying through stuff in my heart.

Sunday's sermon by Rev. Hwa Jen (in conjunction with MSF Sunday) was very good. For once, I wasn't as easily distracted as usual. My mind never once strayed to lunch... I didn't feel sick or sleepy... I just listened and listened, almost spellbound. I don't know what was it about his sermon that won my heart - great content aside, it was also perhaps, Rev. HJ's earnestness in exegeting God's Word (Psalm 139) in the simplest words. I think the sermon spoke to me in many ways. God cares for us. And Psalm 139 gives marvelous Biblical rationale on why this is especially true.

Like many people I know, I do struggle to ascertain God's love and care for me at times.

But God has not failed to prove His love and care to me, time after time. I guess I really need to learn to trust Him.

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