37 weeks: the BLUES

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I am feeling really self-conscious now - what with the general puffiness and roundness, flushed face... as well as dinosaur feet. Ok, maybe Hobbit-like feet, minus the hairiness. Also, it doesn't take much to turn me from happy into an emo, hyper-sensitive drama-queen (I cry myself to sleep at times) - so I guess, it's best that I stay out of your way, physically at least, for now.

I am so overwhelmed and insecure.

I feel like the whole world is against me. Or rather, I feel like a huge burden to everybody - whether at work, at home or anywhere outside. Friends and family members alike. I don't even feel like blogging much nowadays. The sight of those washed diapers and newborn baby clothes hanging out to dry petrifies me. I am suddenly unprepared for anything that the baby's arrival calls for. It doesn't help that I know many mothers (even the first-timers) who have done this successfully. Labour, breast-feeding, parenting, braving the battle scars and stretchmarks, etc, etc. I just feel like I am part of that small percent of the population that won't make it - and therefore, any encouragement (from others) not to worry makes me even more worried. Perhaps, try, humour me instead. But be nice, or I might cry. And you might have to face the wrath of my hubby. Or my best friend might beat you up. Kidding. 

It's a little like getting cold feet towards your wedding day, maybe. I am on the verge of running away - although there is nowhere to run to. So messed up, huh...

Even retail therapy is not helping.

They say, blame it on the hormones.

God, help me! :(