A timely reminder

Sometimes, it is hard not to feel inadequate while doing God's work.

It is so natural to compare the apparent fruit of your efforts with that of others - who seem more talented, more knowledgeable, more prepared, more skilled and perhaps even, more passionate. I tend to get tired, disillusioned and discouraged.

However, I am reminded today that the ministry that God calls me to is not about me. Rather, it is all about Him - His Kingdom, His power and His glory.

I have been giving English tuition (more like a crash course in conversational English) to a Korean missionary for the past month or so - after my regular work hours. A fulfilling assignment in many ways - but still, it has been humbling for the both of us. For her, she has not the luxury of time to absorb and digest her lessons slowly because she has a job interview coming up. She would also be moving to an environment whereby understanding English and being understood by English-speaking non-Koreans are of paramount importance. As for me, I struggle to hold in balance the dialectic between the two necessities: (1) to correct her grammar and (2) to encourage her to talk without feeling self-conscious about grammar. Headaches, hers and mine, are a typical conclusion to each lesson. As her teacher, I often wonder... if I could have done a better job.... if I should move faster, or slower... Etcetera. I also struggle with my Korean language skills - especially when we have no choice but to communicate in Korean.

Anyway, today she happened to ask me to share why I ended up studying and working at the seminary despite having a medical degree. In the simplest sentences, I told her my story - which is God's story, really - because it is all about how God led me on a path less taken (and no doubt, a more blessed one than any of those I would have chosen on my own) and provided every need. Weak and inadequate as I have been, God had made me adequate for every work and assignment for His Kingdom's sake. A timely reminder for myself, I thought.

Suddenly, she exclaimed, "Whoa... my hair standing! Your story gives power! Praise God!"

Her usual worried look was replaced by a joy-filled countenance. Flushed with relief, she thanked me for sharing. She had been so worried about her circumstances (English included) that she had almost forgotten what it means to trust God and rejoice. Actually, so have I.

We were both reminded that our ministries are not about us. Rather, they are about God - His Kingdom, His power and His glory.

He makes us adequate, those He calls. We can take comfort in this.