Giant

The eventful week preceding my first preaching service was followed by yet another eventful week: Ben's aunt who had been ill with cancer for a while took a turn for the worse and passed away on Wednesday. Consequently, Ben's parents had their evenings fully booked by wake services.. and were away most of Saturday for the funeral... leaving me and Ben to look after Sophie on our own while they were away.

Of note, Sophie is still recovering from her diarrhoea + horrible nappy rash duo. 

While I was half-glad to have all that time on our own with Sophie (due to her ailments, we didn't bring her to the wakes and funeral), I was more than half-terrified that we would have to manage the diarrhoea and nappy changes without Ben's mom's help. It was still kinda ok when Ben was there with me - two are better than one when it comes to a sobbing, screaming, kicking toddler with Herculean strength, who would try to claw scratch herself whenever given the sneaky opportunity (the nappy rash was terrible and a mad itch had set in)... or run away bare-bottomed. Whenever Ben was around, I was braver and more relaxed. But on Saturday, even Ben left for the funeral himself... and I had to handle Sophie on my own. Basically, I had to feed her lunch, give her a bath, and put her down for an afternoon nap - three procedures that sound much easier than they really are. (Actually, they were easier when Sophie was younger... but she has grown up into a rather strong-willed toddler now, lovable as she is.) I believe that some moms excel in these procedures... but I am NOT really one of them. Besides, I am insecure and easily intimidated. The terrifying prospect of facing my "giant" alone that afternoon got me nervous and panicky the whole morning. It was even more terrifying than having to preach in church! In fact, I was kinda sulky when Ben went out. 

Well, I don't know... but I survived Saturday. By God's grace. And mercy. Last week reminded me again of how blessed we are to have my parents-in-law help us with Sophie during the week, so that we can have a more balanced life (I can work on my writings and sermons too) and in fact, more quality time with her. It is nice to not have to worry about laundry and cooking for now. I have made up my mind to enjoy this blessing while I still can and not sweat the small stuff like I often do. I guess, God does know what I am not so strong at (dealing with cranky toddlers and non-stop housework), and so He blessed me with a loving family to help me with Sophie until she's bigger and more independent. Thank You, Lord!

(It is also a blessing to have a husband who does not expect me to be a Stepford Wife. I am not bragging... but in light of my weaknesses and his grace to accept them, I am very thankful.)

I will be preaching again this weekend (at a different church this time). Please keep me in your prayers.