The final 10 days of Year 2015

Looking back, it has been a roller coaster of a year. Physically, emotionally, spiritually. I finish off the year nursing a flu which I think I caught from Sophie. Or perhaps, we caught the virus at the same time. It is certainly not your typical flu virus, otherwise our flu jabs would have covered it. It is Week 2 now, and our noses are still dripping like broken taps. Even after taking medicine. Woe.

Nevertheless, I thought I would list five things that made my year worth remembering. In no particular order of importance:

1. Friendship

Made a couple of new and good friends over the second half of the year, which is helping me greatly in my walk with Jesus, especially since I have dropped out of cell group (long story), disappeared from the seminary, and don't focus as well in church as I probably should. Yet. There is this particular couple with whom we (Ben and I) meet for dinner almost every week. While we don't discuss the Bible much during our weekly meet-ups simply because we have other agenda and too little time, it is wonderful to be so present in one another's Christian lives, ups and downs, excitements and mundanities. They are a blessing to our marriage. They even cook for us once in a while. And Sophie loves their daughter (read: dog). On the other hand, certain old friendships have graciously withstood the test of time and distance. I am deeply thankful for how these connect me to the parts of my past that made me so, so happy. Academics and music. When I am connected, I tend to weather hard times in the present with more joy, tenacity, and hope. And I have had many rough patches on a personal level this year too. Can't imagine how I would have fared without this handful of precious people who make it their business to keep in touch as much as I do.

2. Sophie

Of course, it goes without saying, that I am incredibly blessed by motherhood. But I was also struggling a lot this year with my fear of failure and low self-esteem. Spent way too much time grieving over the things that I couldn't change, my inadequacies when it came to meeting her needs, and the inconvenience motherhood poses with regard to my personal ambitions and space. (I have a long way to go towards being a selfless mom.) Particularly consoling was the heartfelt joy each time she reached a new milestone in becoming. Physically, emotionally, intellectually, socially, and spiritually. Of course, I didn't really take her milestones as indicators that I have been an awesome mom, but rather, God's awesomeness in meeting me where I was. And somehow making all things work together for good. Overall, 2015 was a much better year with regard to family life and weekends (no more weekend blues, unlike those in 2014). Ben, Sophie, and I go back to our first home, enjoy one another's company, and minimise the distractions that often keep us from doing so. We also made occasional trips back to KL, did a weekend staycation in May, and attended a wedding up in Cameron Highlands. I don't know if our weekends will always be this delightful, but I thank God that He has blessed us with many of such weekends this year to help especially the mummy of the family with her personal struggles. 

3. Proofreading a friend's PhD-dissertation-turned-into-a-book

This was really an honour for me - to be one of those who read the book before it was published as an academic book, as well as to be asked to help with it. I am such a small fry compared to the other people who journeyed with him in writing the dissertation. Well then, I didn't think that I would be such a nitpicker when it comes to grammar rules, missing words, spelling, and etc. to make no mention of spotting shortcomings so easily (I missed out one or two things, which my friend thankfully detected last minute). It was a lot of long sentences and footnotes to comb through. More than 200 pages of them. But I surpassed my own expectations - and even enjoyed doing it. A therapeutic experience that taught me lots and left open the possibility of me proofreading for extra pocket-money. And pocket money, I really do need.

4. Engaging in an entrepreneurial start-up 

First and foremost, I wouldn't have gotten involved if I hadn't been dragged (a little reluctantly) into it by my dear business partners. I serve mostly as the designer and publicity writer. It has got absolutely nothing to do with direct sales or multi level marketing... more to do with nation-building, education, and youth enrichment. Yups. It is so not me, but who knows, it might grow on me. Never try, never know. Might blog more about this in the coming year if it actually works out. Haha. (Sorry if that sounded a tad bit pessimistic.) Stay tuned. 

5. Writing (and Preaching)

Despite having taken an inevitable backseat in my involvement in church (weekend) activities and the music scene, these are what I have been up to most of my week day afternoons away from home as well as nightly after the toddler has gone to sleep : writing devotionals, crafting sermons, and thinking. Preached a couple of times too - at my own church and as a guest preacher/speaker in other churches. Little sister and dear friends came to watch me preaching once; that was very encouraging (albeit nerve-wrecking). Well then, I have yet much room to grow as a writer and speaker - and so, I pray that 2016 would bring me ample opportunities to grow.

Hope you had a good year past. Here is to an even better year ahead.