Stress

A concert is coming up next Monday, during which 24 students under my tutelage will be performing their own compositions at the showroom of our music school.

I am so stressed out. 20% of my students haven't quite gotten their act together yet - and so I have been doing extra classes (some overlapping one another), running up and down the stairs to check on their practice progresses, scolding, nagging (haha) and etc. I will admit that I am not just nervous for their sakes but also mine. Teachers should not be held responsible for their students' failures if they have worked as hard as we do - and indeed, our school trusts its teachers - but with parents (as well as the big shot Mr. Adjudicator coming up from the headquarters), you never know. Then again, like a friend commented today... "As usual, I think you are too hard on yourself. You set your standards too high... to the point, I roll my eyes. Maybe, you should tell yourself: I am good... so good, that you will beg me to stop."

It is me who is rolling my eyes now. But he has got a point.

Anyway, I should be thankful.

Thankful that 80% of my students know their stuff, even though their tempos might be unsteady and they still pause every now and then to catch up. Thankful for their willingness (and grace) to bear with the hard work, the difficulties, the naggings. Thankful that the remaining 20% haven't given up yet. Thankful that there are still 4 days left for these to get their act together. God, thank You.

So when it was time to say goodbye to my littlest student today, I told her, "R, I am proud of you. No matter how you play on that day, I will still be very proud of you."

Her beam gladdened my heart.