It was fun. I recycled part of the talk which I gave to our TMCP youths last year (to raise awareness of Eating Disorders), improved it and contextualized it for the TOC youths. Excited and nervous at the same time. I'm so glad for the motivation to begin preparing this early - so that I have a lot time leftover to edit and internalize my "speech" amidst working on other stuff. Also, to get ready for ministry.
You can probably tell that I am not a natural public-speaker. When I was in my clinical years of med school, I used to hate case presentations, because I always felt like people were silently judging me (in a bad way) and catching my mistakes when I presented my cases. This was not entirely false/imaginary of course. Mercifully, something a fellow jazz pianist said helped better my attitude towards presentations and performances of any sort. He shared how he overcame his stage-fright by changing his mindset towards his audience ~ seeing them as music-enthusiasts who were there to hear what great things he had to offer, rather than mean judges eager to condemn.
I really thank God for giving me the relevant gifts which enable me to craft sermons that appeal to the target listeners... and also for using my crafts to compel and drive home His message to these listeners somehow! Haha. Indeed, He makes us adequate for His work even from Day One. I shall not despise these days of humble beginnings. May I learn to rely on God's faithfulness. God, pray...grant me a teachable heart.
Perhaps, one day I'd look back at this post as a more well-seasoned preacher/speaker and smile. By that time, my legs might no longer shake when I have to stand behind the pulpit. My heart might no longer be turning wild somersaults. And I might no longer speak at 80km/hr like I sometimes do now when I am NERVOUS.
Boy, do I hate stage-fright!
God is indeed opening the doors for me to grow. Let me walk through them with more certainty, faith and confidence.
Brunching with Rachel tomorrow morning if all goes well.
Looking forward to meet up with my beloved sisters in Singapore real soon. Exactly one more week to go!
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