A loved one

Random thought of the day (while I was in the shower) ~ A loved one is one whose flaws you never remember while he/she takes his/her last breath.

When my mom passed away (I was 17), the only things that passed through my mind while I watched her life slipping away before my very eyes... were the random, beautiful memories. Those times she held me when I was afraid - and I breathed in the comforting scent of my mother's skin against mine. The time she heroically defended me when I was bullied by one of my classmates back in primary school - and I felt safe. The hugs and kisses. Her gentlest words. Her laughter. The twinkle in her eyes. Her cool hand against my feverish forehead. The countless times she "died" for me, especially when I was having an eating disorder. (For a long time after her passing, I could not recall those memories without shedding tears.)

And my heart was terribly heavy.

Because life seemed to momentarily lose its bearing. I felt as if I was holding onto a damaged compass, whose needle could no longer point north.

A loved one is one whose flaws you laugh off or learn to graciously forgive when you remember them later... even when they truly, madly and deeply offended you while he/she was alive. Old scars turn sweet. Resentment is replaced by regretting - that so much time was wasted defending your right to be angry; and wishing that the angry tempest of words could have been words of encouragement or reconciliation.

A loved one is one whom you choose to love till death parts... and even beyond death. One whose flaws may grieve and hurt - but one, with whom you can never stay angry for too long. Because you have chosen to love... and hopefully not when it is too late.