I am wondering if this is the time of the month when my moods/emotions are supposed to go wonky.
Just two weeks ago, I was laughing with a friend who shared that she was crying at the drop of a hat. And in the past two weeks, I seem to have been going through a similar stage myself. (Is it contagious?) Worse still, I am being extremely pessimistic, defensive, guilty and panicky. I feel like... running away. Argh.
My heart is in trouble. A fact with sparkling clarity.
Nooooooo.....
In one word: sad.
Play me sad songs and read me melancholic poetry - and I bet the farm that I'd milk you some buckets of tears.
So don't.
I yearn for God's comfort. Matthew 11:28-30 was God's timely reminder for me today:
"28 Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
Anyway...
Today was an off day for me - a proper one this time, since there were no classes to teach in the afternoon, unlike any other Monday (Hari Raya hols for the kids). I spent it traipsing around Gurney Paragon Mall, having coffee all by myself, reading Scripture, listening to quartets on BBC Radio 3, writing poetry and sermon-prepping.
A poem I wrote over my latte while comfortably seated at Starbucks:
Past this window by which I tarry ~
are the happy faces,
the leisurely paces,
bags and shoelaces
of the carefree
And on my side of the glass ~
I ponder at this very spot
on how different
these pictures would look
if a gracious God existed not ~
And yet, do they know Him?
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