18 weeks +

I am a little startled to realise that my pregnancy is almost halfway to its consummation.

How time flies!

Today, I came across some profound words spoken by Stephen Massey, who is well-recognised in the States for his excellence in coaching and mentoring conductors of classical music ensembles as well as his work with high school jazz and wind ensembles, having been the Director of Music for the Foxboro Public Schools (Massachusetts) for the past 20 years. With regard to his efforts to deepen the intensity and passion of ensemble musicians in music-making, he sometimes alters his students' spatial distribution within an ensemble - arranging them in circles or various geometric shapes, and assigning different seating positions. His rationale? It is so that the music may be experienced from a variety of perspectives. Massey explained: "Anything that we can do to change the way in which people hear... it also changes the way in which people feel, because they feel differently when they hear differently."

Massey's words struck a chord in me - especially the word "hear". It is not only seeing something/someone/a situation from different perspectives that stretches our imaginations, emotions and understanding about that particular thing/person/situation. Hearing or listening from different perspectives is just as important.

For example, when we go through difficult times in life, we don't only want to see God at work - or see the circumstances from His perspective. We also yearn to hear Him - His voice addressing us personally - His words of comfort and assurance; His leading; His answers to our "WHY" questions; and His active engagement in our prayer conversations with Him. Hearing is an essential part of knowing God - it enables us to know God and yet, it testifies to us that we do know God (Jn 10:27). Hearing releases faith (Rom 10:17). Perhaps then, if we are still not at rest, we could change the way in which we hear God (per Massey). Instead of just reading, we could go out for a walk and experience God's presence in nature... or appreciate art... or spend time with a good friend (preferably one who is prayerful and discerning - and not just kay poh a.k.a. busy-body)... or sleep. We would then be able to hear God's voice from different perspectives/angles, be enriched and know Him deeper.

Anyway, I digress. Massey's statement has also reminded me that it matters who I listen to when it comes to "pregnancy-talk". I was once very influenced by the cynical remarks of certain well-meaning people who would go on and on about how having a baby is all about costly living, dreary broken nights, broken dreams, watered-down romance in the marriage (if not non-existent), mind-numbing childbirth pains and being torn apart *gulp*, a permanently altered physique (including sagging boobs, widened hips, a huge behind that can only be trimmed with professional help at a slimming centre, a jelly-belly that never diminishes, etc, etc) and "your life will never be the same again" (often spoken in a sad, dramatic and almost-oppressive tone). I admit that I consequently did not have very positive feelings toward pregnancy - and even less so, after the miscarriage last year. Thankfully, God kept bringing me some other people who did not deny that pregnancy and having kids would be hard work and many sacrifices; however, they spoke too of the wholesomeness of mothering, the joys of guiding their children to be what/who God had purposed them to be, the wonders of journeying with God, and the great fun they had had. (My spiritual mom is one of these.) What encouragement!

I heard very differently through these people - and so, I feel different (in a good way) now about being a mother. In fact, I am looking forward to it. With joy and excitement.