A new season

First month over ~ say hi to Sophie Karin, folks!

First and foremost, our precious little girl arrived on the 9th of May, 2014 - thanks to the prayers of many uncles and aunties, as well as the wisdom and skillful hands of my obstetrician, Dr. Ng. She was delivered via emergency C-section, because of some complications that came up when I was 8cm dilated. Thank God, she emerged unscathed!  It was such relief to hear her fierce, protesting cries the minute they dug (literally) her out from the depths of me and cut the cord. A beautiful and rare moment it was... I wept a little before conking out (due to the anaesthetics and the exhaustion from a whole night of drama). 

Sophie. She is so beautiful. We are very blessed.

Well then, a long month has gone past. I have finally decided to resume blogging after I bade farewell to some of the darkest and most depressing days of my life. Post-partum blues were as real as they could be - I am quite sorry that I under-estimated my susceptibility to them and thus, was not very prepared when they descended upon me. I spent the days (and the sleepless nights) in my darkened room - angry, moody, tearful, fickle-minded, detached from everybody including the hubby and baby, avoiding guests (not all though).... and reluctant to get out of bed and do the things I used to love doing - blogging and showering included. I was even, at times, angry with God. On my mind was a constant longing and ache to pack up a bag and run away when everybody was asleep! (But when the hubby asked me "to where", I couldn't decide.) The reason behind this? Hormones, post-surgery, the great (and painful) challenges of breastfeeding, befuddlement from the broken nights and Sophie's undecipherable cries, routines new and strange, my body also new and strange, constant reminders of how my life would never be the same again (seen in a negative light, haha)... what have you. I am thankful, nevertheless, for the dear people who constantly checked on me via texts, prayed, encouraged and cracked those silly, lovable jokes. Kept me from insanity, they did - I am sure. :) <3

Oh... also, the hubby made sure that he took me out during the weekends for coffee dates, movies and such (we left Sophie to Ben's parents). I love him for that. He also bathes Sophie in the evenings, gives her many cuddles and kisses, soothes her to sleep at night... and handles her night diaper changes despite having to go to work early the next day. Even if I don't make a good mother, I am certain that Ben would make an amazing father.

I realised that I was much better when I could step out of my room, sit on the couch in the living room, and watch TV.

I miss Sophie when I am not with her, physically. That's an even better sign. 

My appetite is back too. Hurray.

Anyway, we celebrated Sophie's first month over by attending the church family camp as a family. Tiring... but very fun and refreshing nevertheless.

I pray that God would enable me to embrace this new season with passion.