Matthew 14:15-21 : Five Loaves of Bread and Two Fish

"15 As evening approached, the disciples came to him and said, "This is a remote place, and it's already getting late. Send the crowds away, so they can go to the villages and buy themselves some food." 16 Jesus replied, "They do not need to go away. You give them something to eat."17 "We have here only five loaves of bread and two fish," they answered. 18 "Bring them here to me," he said. 19 And he directed the people to sit down on the grass. Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the people. 20 They all ate and were satisfied, and the disciples picked up twelve basketfuls of broken pieces that were left over. 21 The number of those who ate was about five thousand men, besides women and children."

What really intrigues me about the story this time is Jesus' answer in 14:16:

"They do not need to go away. You give them something to eat."

If I had been one of the twelve disciples, I would have been just as incredulous (and sarcastic). Annoyed too, perhaps. 

We give them something to eat? So easy meh... Whose problem are they anyway?

"We have here only five loaves of bread and two fish..." (14:17)

...for your info. How sensible your assignment is!

We give them something to eat. Sure. Who does He think we are? Makers of manna? Growers of money trees? It would take at least two hundred denarii to buy bread for so many people - half a year's of hard-earned wages, or more (cf. Mark 6:37). Let's see, do you even have that much money?

Five loaves and two fish would do well to feed a multitude of ants. When was the last time five loaves and two fish equals one full stomach - to make no mention of 5000 stomachs? Don't you see how hungry the people are?

What are we going to do with 5000 people in a remote place when night falls? Tuck them into bed? (cf. Luke 9:12) 

Overwhelmed by such strong emotions, I imagine that it would have been difficult for me to resist rising to the challenge: "Bring them here to me." (Matt 14:18) 

Yeah, whatever. Let's see what you can do...

While I always saw this story as a testimony of God's power to move mountains even when we have little to offer Him (and He certainly does - for He is never limited by our resources or human capabilities or faith), I am seeing the story from a new angle today. First, I am reminded that God's answers to our prayers which come through Scripture, prayer moments, circumstances and the community of faith - simple as they may be - might not always resonate with our human rationale. As long as we question incredulously (or defensively) His wisdom and ways, we will be limited in our capacity to hear His comfort, rejoice over the miracle at hand and be stilled by His peace. Secondly, we know that God surpasses all impossibility. You and I have been amazed by Him many times and thus, have no reason to doubt Him. However, our faith often wavers in the face of pressing needs; we think that we know the best solution and are outraged when God does not seem to want to make it easy for us. If only we had the "foolish" resolve to trust and obey God despite the most impossible realities we face. What opportunities He gives us to be awed by His power and love! 

Reflecting on the season I am currently in (its difficulties as well as joys), I asked myself if I could say confidently that Jesus is enough for me. 

No, but I want to. Jesus is enough for me.