The most challenging part (I find) of motherhood is prioritising hobbies.
We always think of hobbies as the unimportant leisure activities we do outside work hours. Classy or silly - but still unimportant. For any mother, working outside the home or not, you can never be sure if your work hours are over or not. Nights are never what they used to be. For example, I (like many of you) am the doctor-on-call, nurse, night watch person, cleaner, and milkmaid. Sometimes, I work late into the night on my writing. And so, if you asked me what my special pastime outside work is, I would have had great difficulty answering the question. But if there was to be a paradigm shift - hobbies being important and essential - what might my hobby be?
I am not sure if "sleeping" is an acceptable hobby. Because I do like sleeping. And that's the thing... I am rather sleep-deprived so that any time outside work (including motherhood duties) is time to pay my sleep debt. Sleep is uncomplicated bliss. Furthermore, it's anti-social. It recharges the introvert in me. If sleeping is not a hobby, then I have no time for a hobby. Just saying.
But if one is to have a hobby, I think it should not only be an activity that passes time, but also an activity that is meaningful. A hobby should be something that completes your identity which is otherwise defined by career and social standing. You know how people like to ask when they meet you for the first time: what do you do? The truth is: we are not what we do. Otherwise losing a job or the ability to work like you used to (it happens, e.g. in a crippling accident, disease, or motherhood) would mean losing ourselves - losing our identity. Rather, we are... who we are. A human person is a being, fearfully and wonderfully made by God, His gift to the world. Being fully alive and so, glorifying God (as per St. Irenaeus), includes delighting in and developing our inclinations. (I am appalled when Christians think that we will only be fully alive when we are out of our mortal bodies. I think "fully alive" is a journey rather than a destination. It is a matter of stewardship. With our renewed minds in Christ - with God's standards in mind - we are to grow in this "fully-alive-ness" as we creatively steward the physical, emotional, social, and spiritual potential God has placed in us from the beginning - because this ultimately helps the world glimpse and savour His glory.) What makes us forget time? Some say sports - running, cycling, or dancing. Some are into artistic pursuits. Others enjoy meeting people, hosting guests, food blogging, or making home home. The list is endless. Fitting hobbies empower us to enjoy these without the pressure of having to please or accommodate others. Or live up to the expectations of anyone but ourselves. Recharged, inspired and enriched, we then become better engineers, teachers, doctors, accountants, entrepreneurs, homemakers, etc. Of course, our passions are often what we do as careers. I love music - and I am a music teacher. A blessing indeed. Nevertheless, I think a hobby would be even more necessary. The absent line between work and play is a recipe for disaster. Grace is not merely a music teacher.
And so, I have to try to make more time for the little things that I've always enjoyed. While I teach, I also read leisurely about music, listen to my favourite genres of music for pleasure's sake, learn pieces (that are out of my exam repertoire), and compose. While I write, I also blog about motherhood (haven't done much of this lately), read fiction and watch movies. I go to the gym, have coffee with friends, and travel alone as much as I can (because traveling with the family is a lot of work). These "little things" are as important and necessary as my jobs and duties - and not merely the random things which I use my leftover time to do - and then feel guilty about because there could be a "more effective way" of spending those leftovers.
Hobbies maketh a person. In keeping them, we find ourselves. We find our Maker.
There is nothing to be guilty or ashamed about when your kid catches you (intentionally) watching a Korean drama during your happy hour. Not only it makes you a better mother. She also learns that it is fine and important to walk away from the things she must do - only for a while - so that she might be reminded of who she is.
I will keep telling myself that.
Of course I won't just watch Korean drama. I promise.
Meow.
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