A little steam

Thought I'd let out a little steam here about something close to the heart...

A friend of mine did something which I frowned upon some time ago. I had warned her that it would be dangerous and that I would be very angry if she did it - mostly because I care for her. Nevertheless, she did it anyway (secretly at first), and on the next day, confessed her actions to me. I don't think she thought that I would be as angry as I said, but I was. I told her very calmly that I was furious a la Grace (think: sphinx face with a detached smile) but I was unable to hide my thoughts that she had been very foolish. (The words leaked out of me like a suppressed fart yet pressing its way out of one's body viciously.) She was extremely hurt at my reaction - called to apologize (which I accepted) but later accused me of not being understanding of her situation and stuff. She also kept calling my husband (to whom I permitted her to be close in a big sisterly way) during a family outing that night to rant. She hung up multiple times. She also implied that I was "pushing her to the wall" i.e. forcing her into a position where there is only one choice to make - suicide. My husband thankfully replied that there was no need to mull over the incident: it's over. Needless to say, he was as disturbed as I was over the whole thing (especially because it was between the two of us, and he didn't really feel a need to be involved).

And so, here we are. Perhaps, I should have been quiet. Perhaps I should have laughed it off: "Oh, you did what? Ah, nice try..." Perhaps I should have been less judgmental, more understanding, more sympathetic, wiser, kinder and etc. I am sure that she had expected me to read her mind. Feel sorry for her and so, offer some encouragement. Well then, I feel horrible for having disappointed her.

But I am your friend. Not your Priest. Or Pope for that matter.

If you can be yourself with me, why can't I be myself with you?

Why do I need to hide the fact that I don't agree with what you are doing? That I feel angry that you did it? You always confess whatever you like. Then let me confess whatever I like too. Whenever.

What would you do if you were me? And I were you?