Moving to a new blog

My 6 years of blogging at Woollylifestock will come to an end.

I am moving, only because I need a fresh start.

You can read my subsequent blogposts here. Goodbye and see you on the other side.

A lovely week

Term break at last.

I forfeited my previous term break and taught throughout (that was in March) because I wanted to save up some holidays for more crucial times of the year. Most of my students didn't go anywhere that week because it was only one week of holidays, and so their parents agreed to bring them for classes. Looking back, while it was certainly a fruitful week, I don't think it was kind - at least to myself, the teacher. By April, especially towards the recital and beyond, I was burning out fast. I was growing very resentful towards the kids who habitually do not practise (and parents who think that it's the teacher's responsibility to keep them on track regardless of their commitment). Hyperventilating out of great annoyance has been a common phenomena of late. Good grief! It is a wonder that my hairs haven't turned white yet.

And then May arrived.

I am so thankful that the term break has begun, for my sanity's sake. It began with a lot of meet-ups with good friends from near and afar; it will conclude with a family vacation. Needless to say, time will fly past because we're having fun and soon, the term break will be over. But I hope to make every moment count and so, I am even blogging - which I haven't done in a while.

Anyway, a side-note...

The other day, an ex-student of mine texted; said that she was moving house and she had two boxes of piano repertoire for lower grades up to ATCL; wouldn't be needing those books ever again, so would I please have them?

Those of you who read my previous post know that I might be resigning from my job at the music school end of this year; this happened right after I informed my bosses. (By God's grace, they were open about it despite our short-handed situation.) My ex-student's offer seemed to point me to the fact that I will always be a music teacher somehow, and ultimately, God's musician. So, don't feel like the world will leave you behind even if you have to step out of the teaching scene again, for a while... "For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways...for as the Heavens are higher than the Earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts..." (Isa. 55:8, 9). I was struck by the irony of my situation; here I was worrying about the practical aspects of my resignation: will I be OK as a stay-at-home-mom again? Where will the money come from? How will my portfolio look? Will I be able to work from home? Will my employers be furious? Etc. But God, who has all the answers, only acknowledged so very kindly the fear deep down inside my subconscious - the fear that I would be a nobody... forgotten, left behind, and looked down upon.

Indeed, to obey God is better than well-meaning and even pious-looking acts that ultimately serve self.

Change

Many of us are terrified of change (yours truly included). I'm not talking about coins and petty cash - but having (again) to move from the familiar to the unfamiliar and sometimes unknown. With the new comes the nostalgic pining for the old, a struggle to hold on a little more to today, a sort of tentativeness, and yet you want so much to believe that one day things will fall into place. Will they?

It has been a comfortably predictable life of late. Sure, my work can be very stressful and emotionally draining. But it also means that I get to put Sophie through Pre-K and daycare with my earnings and contribute to the family's financial needs. Sophie has been doing fine in school so far and a routine has been established. Well then, the backdrop changed all of a sudden (more about this some other day) and everything is looking different now that I have to prepare mind, heart, body (yes!) and soul to be stay-at-home mom once again after Christmas. Where will all that money come from? Will Sophie still be able to go to school? How will my portfolio look? Will I be able to work from the home? Will my employers be furious? (Admittedly, I'm rather indispensable in our shorthanded workforce at the moment.) Etc. God alone has the answers. I will have to trust Him and allow Him to hem me in behind and before (Ps. 139:5).

But something truly encouraged me today. This:

"By faith Abraham, when he was called, obeyed by going to a place which he was to receive as an inheritance; and he went out not knowing where he was going. By faith he lived as an alien in the land of promise, as in a foreign land, dwelling in tents with Isaac and Jacob, fellow heirs of the same promise; for he was looking for the city which has foundations, whose architect and builder is God." (Hebrews 11:8-10) A few things are especially striking to me: Abraham obeying when he was called; God's promise to bless him and Abraham's absolute certainty of receiving the blessing that he was willing to sojourn in that unknown, foreign land; and his anticipation that God would establish what He has promised. Let go and let God, indeed.

A little early, I suppose - but what will the New Year bring?

Sophie's birthday

There was a lot of rejoicing on her birthday this year (then again, we rejoice every year). On her first birthday, she began walking on her own. On her second birthday, she began cycling properly. And on her third birthday this year, we thanked God for all the new progresses that took place in the past few months - her settling down in school and after-school care, toilet-training, learning how to read (English and Mandarin flashcards), her confession of her faith in Jesus Christ (and baptism), language development, words of affirmation for us (particularly her mummy), etc. I see her running around our house, playing pretend games and wanting to be involved in every activity possible... and I feel, honestly, very proud of her.

We had a simple celebration for Sophie on Tuesday - cake, candles, presents, and the wonderful presence of her extended family members.

Sophie's birthday guests (I assure you that they were not zombies...)

It was nothing particularly expensive or fancy, partially because I have to teach up till 8.30pm on Tuesdays and also because we will be going on a family vacation later this month to celebrate our wedding anniversary as well as her birthday. Sophie was delighted nevertheless, with the simple pleasures and smiled the entire evening away. The highlight was perhaps breaking open her birthday (Peppa Pig) pinata which I had constructed out of cardboard 2 days prior. Rather than fill it with sweets, I put in little thrills a toddler like her would appreciate - chocolate eggs with toys inside, balloons to blow up, a pair of Peppa Pig red spectacle frames, a Sylvanian Family baby rabbit on its rocking horse, and a tub of hair ties. Needless to say... she loved them!

And she must have felt so loved.

What surprises will her 4th year of life bring, I wonder. My prayer is that she would grow in her relationship with God... and get to know and love Him more.

We love you, big baby.

I could do with a.....

...holiday. A getaway vacation.

Having taught non-stop since February (I even taught during the term break as long as the school was not closed in order to carry forward the holidays to a "better" time) and having undergone the stresses of preparing my students for an important recital, I am dead tired.

I used to be able to burn the midnight oil with ease. Nowadays, I fall asleep sitting up. Literally. In a blink of the eye - again, literally - I'm off to La-la land. A long blink. This is way weirder than I thought.

Why must vacations cost so much money?

Recital Over

We are all so relieved. Students and teachers.

Strangely, somehow, we (most of us) also look forward to bigger challenges ahead - more recitals, competitions, and next year's School Junior Original Concert (SJOC). Many were first-timers with regards to public performances this round and were pleasantly surprised that it wasn't as bad/scary as they had expected. (But still scary.)

I'm not sure about the exams though.

I wish that I had listened more to the playing. Most of the time, I was running into the waiting/backstage-y room, reading out names, lining the students up, shushing the rowdy, keeping the monkeys under control, and etc. (My students' mistakes didn't escape my OCD ears though, haha! Of course, I was careful and merciful not to remind my students of the mistakes when we reviewed the individual performances later. However, they never forgot - and showered me with the sincerest of apologies.) The teachers were physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted at the end of the recital. We rewarded ourselves with champagne and roast pork after everything was over.

Sophie's diaries : Easter 2017 and her Not-so-Infant Baptism

After wrestling with the idea of infant baptism for 3 years, we finally decided to baptise our firstborn today.

Now of course, by this time, she isn't an infant anymore. She is also able to confess on her own that Jesus Christ died on the cross for all our sins - hers, mummy's, daddy's, gong-gong's, ah-ee's, etc - whatever her understanding of sin is - and yet, He is alive. She requests prayers; prays over the little hurdles she meets in life (like "God, please put all the bad guys in the world in the naughty corner..." or "God, please give us an empty parking lot..."); looks forward to the eschaton where she will meet especially that older brother who died in mummy's tummy and returned Home to God; and is able to reason much more than an infant. She manifests faith to a certain extent. Her baptism was not-so-infant. But, I am glad that I thought through the whole infant baptism thing... and I am not too ashamed to admit that my previous understanding of it could have been incomplete.

Here are the points I thoroughly considered:

First, while it is essential that a person confesses with his mouth that Jesus is Lord and believes in his heart that God raised Him from the dead (Rom. 10:9), where in the Bible does it say that baptism can only be administered for one who has reached the age of reason to do so with full conviction prior to baptism? While repentant converts were certainly baptised as the impetus for discipleship, we also read in the Book of Acts that their families were baptised with them, e.g. Lydia (16:15) and the Philippian jailer (16:33). Among the families/households must have been children of all ages, infants included. Furthermore, the Apostle Paul notes that baptism has replaced conventional circumcision; it is to be a "circumcision made without hands" (Col. 2:11-12). As we know, circumcision under the Old Covenant was for Jewish infants as much as it was for older boys and men among God's chosen people. Such unaware infants were circumcised in anticipation of the faith and community in which they would be raised. Would Paul have chosen such a metaphor for baptism if he had meant to exclude infants? And what about the mentally disabled who can never fully reason on their own?

Secondly, one is admitted to Holy Communion on the basis of his/her baptism. In other words, baptism initiates one into the life of the church community, beginning with the Lord's table. If we expect our children to participate in corporate worship, get serious about God, commit to discipleship, and make disciples (Matt. 28:18-20), they should first have a sense of belonging to the community. Holy Communion, I believe, should then be an important part of a child's early experiences of church because it nourishes this sense of belonging. (Of course, teaching children not to take it in vain is just as important.) Furthermore, the Holy Communion and its liturgy speak so much of God's grace - past, present, and future. Holy Communion is in fact, a sacrament that strengthens, affirms and conveys the grace it symbolises. Must a child/infant, by virtue of his/her baptism, only have access to it when he/she reaches the age of reason? What is the age of reason anyway? Can we, adults, say that we are fully reasonable at our age?

Thirdly, what is baptism? Is it just a public manifestation of a person's conversion or is it more? Is it necessary for salvation? For those who can be baptised, "...Baptism... saves you... not as a removal of dirt from the body but as an appeal to God for a clear conscience, through the resurrection of Jesus Christ" (1 Pet. 3:21). Baptism joins us to Christ's death by which we are set free from the power of sin - because he/she who dies finally escapes the grip of sin (Rom. 6:7). Just as God's people were no longer slaves in Egypt through the water, we are no longer slaves to sin - and we can finally obey God if we wanted to. We can now say NO to sin and say YES to God - a lifelong responsibility and journey. Which parent, given the opportunity and their authority over their children's lives, would not want to avail this grace to them - the ability to say no to sin and say yes to God? "Permit the children to come to Me," Jesus said as His disciples rebuked the mothers bringing their brepha (Greek: infants) to Him so that He might touch them; "and do not hinder them for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these" (Lk. 18:15-16). One day, they must decide for themselves to follow Jesus wholeheartedly. But until then (and who knows what tomorrow might bring), is it not right for parents to bring their brepha through the exodus waters of freedom so that the brepha grow up in a new kingdom?

I am sure that I would be more open to baptising the next infant I have (if ever).

Stress

A concert is coming up next Monday, during which 24 students under my tutelage will be performing their own compositions at the showroom of our music school.

I am so stressed out. 20% of my students haven't quite gotten their act together yet - and so I have been doing extra classes (some overlapping one another), running up and down the stairs to check on their practice progresses, scolding, nagging (haha) and etc. I will admit that I am not just nervous for their sakes but also mine. Teachers should not be held responsible for their students' failures if they have worked as hard as we do - and indeed, our school trusts its teachers - but with parents (as well as the big shot Mr. Adjudicator coming up from the headquarters), you never know. Then again, like a friend commented today... "As usual, I think you are too hard on yourself. You set your standards too high... to the point, I roll my eyes. Maybe, you should tell yourself: I am good... so good, that you will beg me to stop."

It is me who is rolling my eyes now. But he has got a point.

Anyway, I should be thankful.

Thankful that 80% of my students know their stuff, even though their tempos might be unsteady and they still pause every now and then to catch up. Thankful for their willingness (and grace) to bear with the hard work, the difficulties, the naggings. Thankful that the remaining 20% haven't given up yet. Thankful that there are still 4 days left for these to get their act together. God, thank You.

So when it was time to say goodbye to my littlest student today, I told her, "R, I am proud of you. No matter how you play on that day, I will still be very proud of you."

Her beam gladdened my heart.

Sophie's Diaries : A month to her 3rd birthday

The past few months approaching her 3rd birthday have been magical.

S (finally) began sleeping through the night without waking up for milk, she toilet-trained, she began eating proper portions of (solid) food in school instead of just nibbles and loads of milk, feeding her out of the home is no longer barking up the wrong tree, she rinses her mouth (after brushing teeth) at the sink instead of all over herself, she counts objects in order, she dresses herself, etc. 

Wouldn't it be wrong to say that she is more human now? But it sure feels that way to me - and I thank God. It was very nerve-wrecking for me before this - keeping an alien alive. 

Well, I am loving and enjoying her loads. I just want to enjoy her as my only child as long as I can. It's rather like marriage, I suppose. You're aware that you and your other half might want a baby in the future; however, you don't want to rush into that parenthood thingamajig without having enjoyed some years together as a couple first. I know time ticks on and neither the hubs nor I are that young, but really, I know I'll really miss having all that time with her if I ever had another. If you ask me, she's enough. She is exceedingly and abundantly more than I could have asked for or imagined. 

But I speak for myself. She keeps asking us for a baby sibling nowadays, more than ever. She'd pat my tummy once in a while, and ask if the baby was in there already... or why is it getting bigger (sheesh)... She woke up one morning, and said brightly: "Mummy, I dreamed last night... I went back into your tummy... and then, I came out. Mummy, do you want another baby in your tummy?"

Of course, I was wide awake after she popped the question. And a little troubled now. Haha.

We interviewed her this evening on the prospect:

Me: Do you really want a baby brother or sister?

Sophie: I want... baby brother AND sister. 

Me: Sophie, if I have a baby, I won't have so much time for you. Who is going to play with you?

S: I will play by myself.

Me: If the baby cries, what are you going to do?

S: I will sayang the baby.

Me: Who will help me to look after the baby?
S: Sophie!

Me: If the baby comes to you and says, "Jie-jie, bao bao (carry)," what will you do?"

S: I will bao bao the baby very softly (she meant "gently"). Then, if we sit together like this (she gestured in glee toward the bench we were sitting on - hubs, Sophie and myself), baby will sit here... next to me. 

Me: But I won't be able to bao bao you anymore...

S: You can bao bao baby.... You don't need to bao bao me anymore. Daddy will bao bao me.

Did I ever mention that she is a very determined little girl?

Groan. Don't grow up too fast, baby girl. 

I recently read a very good book.

It has inspired me to remove myself from the cult of achievement and "earlier/faster is better" so prevalent in my part of the world, and strain towards a home life full of child-led play, imagination, making teachable moments and growing learners. The flash cards will still have to flash, because Sophie's school uses them, but I have never resorted to use them at home and I won't start. 

Here's toward the last month of her 3rd year. 

Sophie's Diaries : Graduation from a Parenting Course

We did it. As a family.

Yup, Sophie sat through the parenting course with us. She wouldn't have had it any other way. She refused to go off to the creche for babysitting services without us (duh). We told her that she could stay if she kept very quiet throughout (two-and-a-half-hours each session) - and she mostly did, which was amazing, I thought. Win win.

Of course, she needed some help to stay quiet. Her own little chair to sit on, lots of snacks, some toys, some trips to the bathroom, a pillow to nap (she'd hug me when she was tired and fall asleep on my lap), and lots of reassuring hugs (and kisses) as well as shushes. Also, ehem... some warnings that she might have to go to the creche after all whenever she got a little bit noisy. That part was inevitable. Nevertheless, she was generally well-behaved - God be praised - and it was such joy to have her with us throughout the DVD sessions, discussion group and etc. I am so, so proud of my grown-up baby.

Our group (sans one more couple who arrived late yesterday) and our facilitators (first 2 from left to right)

The parenting course was aimed at parents or caretakers of 0 to 10-year-olds. Together, we explored the building of strong foundations in our children's lives, their needs, boundaries that have to be set, healthy relationships that have to be modelled and encouraged, as well as our long-term aims in parenting. It was tremendously helpful to have our group facilitators share their parenting experiences with us; we also discussed our common struggles, especially in disciplining our children (and disciplining them while their grandparents try valiantly to come to their "rescue"). Very encouraging, definitely.

I think the course also helped me as a teacher to children, a majority of whom are below 10. After all, teachers are said to be acting "in loco parentis" while the kids are in their care i.e. "in place of a parent" (latin). While I believe that "in loco parentis" is in the professional context of educating the kids (as in, teachers are educating the kids in place of their parents back home) rather than a parental relationship (which often requires one to provide assistance to the kids beyond professional boundaries that might be inappropriate), we have to be yet mindful of the values they catch from us, the image of God as Shepherd that we portray, their needs, their self-worth, and the boundaries we need to set. Throughout the course, I was reminded of how ripe my mission field of teaching music is for harvest - and how lucky I was to have been equipped with the tools to reap.

Pause. Rewind.

March comes to an end.

A month so pregnant with learning moments for me comes to an end. What will it birth?

Something (some issues with a particular student) came up at work today which made me so grateful for God's continuous help, protection and favour upon me. Sometimes, we get into fixes that we despair over, but in retrospect, such only serve to magnify God's faithfulness toward those who have chosen to believe in Him and thus live in a manner in keeping with repentance. God never leaves His children unattended.

Snapshot

It's snapshots like this that remind me... that my present difficulties will become things of the past and I might regret someday that I was too preoccupied with them (and moving past the season) to treasure the sweet lasts: my last pump of breastmilk, the last toothless grins, the last creases in her baby thighs, her last mee-mee, our last weekend on our own at Eden, the last meal I cooked for us, the last I saw of my engagement ring (don't ask), the last time I stepped foot into the seminary, etc. Lasts are as precious as Firsts. Firsts happen because some things lasted to their end... so that there could be new beginnings.

Sophie's diaries : music lessons

For reasons I shall not divulge here, I have always felt a little apprehensive about giving Sophie music lessons myself.

Until recently. Something changed.

I thought to myself: since she is all ready to learn, I can't afford don't intend to send her for kindermusik programs, and I am not a bad music teacher myself, why not start somewhere? I won't have to take sole responsibility for her music education; I could always send her for formal lessons with a teacher who isn't her mom, if needed (that's my consolation) or the Junior Music Course at Yamaha, but why not homeschool her for now? Also, I'd like to be able to tell her, in the future, that she began learning music at 2+. And that her mom was her first music teacher, haha.

My approach isn't too complicated or kiasu. It's all about having fun: storytelling, crafts, stickers, simple workbooks, dancing, rhythm, solfege, imaginative musical exposure, etc. My ultimate goal is to make the rudiments of music stick in her head for life while she continues to enjoy music as she always has. And may music be the context for teaching her deeper lessons about life, God, and everything else.

We began a week ago. So far so good. It has been a lot of fun for her as well as myself (what with the planning, strategizing, crafts preparation and all). I pray that I will continue to be this motivated.

Supper

I admittedly have supper every night.

It's usually a mug of milky coffee (I know, it's caffeine) with biscuits, crackers or digestives. Not a very big meal (at least to me) and just the right amount of food to help me sleep after supper. It feels like a nice closure to a long day. A small luxury to indulge in. And carbs give you good dreams. Don't quote me on this, but I am absolutely convinced that I'm right.

They say it makes you fat - eating right before bed, carbs too - but I think that's rubbish. The right question should perhaps be: "How can eating supper make me fit?"

I load up with carbs before I sleep because of my morning routine. I am one who believes in exercising first thing in the morning, before breakfast. (I do allow myself a cup of black coffee though.) Firstly, you pump up your metabolism for the rest of the day - which is great, as far as fitness is concerned. Secondly, it is effective output with regard to daily caloric intake; apparently, exercising in the morning has the greatest results. Here is where my supper enhances the effects... The sugars in the carbs are stored by the body as glycogen; the glycogen stores in your muscles are easily mobilized when your muscle contracts (during exercise) and screams for energy. Sufficient glycogen in muscles means a longer, more consistent and greatly satisfying workout. You also get to keep your muscles (which otherwise turn into energy sources when glycogen stores are severely depleted). Muscles keep your metabolic rate high even on the days you don't exercise.

Having said that, of course, if you consume carbs beyond the glycogen storage capacity (which is totally possible especially when it is chocolate digestives), the remaining sugars turn into fat - so don't overeat. Not only at supper, but also breakfast, lunch, tea, dinner, etc. Don't overexercise either.

If you must know, this supper-sleep-gym routine (and understanding the science behind it) has worked wonders for me. It helped me shed the pounds I gained from pregnancy; it keeps me fit; it keeps eating disordered thoughts at bay somehow; and it is what I love returning to after an eating vacation. It feels like going on some sort of diet and yet, it is so delightfully delicious! I look forward to supper every day. Well, on most days, at least.

So YES, eating supper can make you fit. I'll vouch for that.

Saturday nights and Sunday mornings

I work a full day on Saturdays.

My first class begins at 9am. My final class concludes at 6.15pm. Lunch break is at 2.15pm for an hour (or less).

Saturdays are when many Teacher-I-had-no-time-to-practise-the-whole-week students struggle with the aforementioned Teacher. They find her very naggy, unsympathetic, rigid, and utterly resentful to be back in square one after a whole week. And they persist in coming for classes.

In other words, Saturday is the craziest day of my work week - in terms of nature, duration, patience required, and the challenges encountered. When I am feeling particularly positive, I relate to the Israelites gathering manna on the 6th day. "Now on the sixth day, they gathered twice as much bread, two omers for each one..." (Exod. 16:22) Twice as much work done, but twice as much blessings to last me till Monday. However, more often than not, I am not that positive. If I am perfectly honest, I'd say that my motivation to endure the first half of the day is eating lunch... and the second half, eating curry mee at dinner (that's my comfort food). I'm not as angelic a teacher as you think!

As you can probably imagine, I am knackered every Saturday evening. I am so freaking exhausted - physically, emotionally, mentally, etc. - that sleep just doesn't relieve the exhaustion fully, although I savour it. One can never have enough of sleep, I think.

I am always grouchy when I wake up on Sunday mornings. I am wondering what I could do about it.

Sophie's Diaries : Tots' Sunday School

I have mixed feelings about TSS.

On one hand, I love the idea of having my little girl participate in simple Bible-education activities along with other children her age. The teachers are a fun (and godly) bunch; Sophie enjoys singing the songs she learned throughout the week; and it does seem like a more churchy way (whatever that means) to occupy her time while the main service goes on - than her walking around the creche. I am glad that TSS makes her early experiences of church so pleasant.

But on the other hand, I also have my reservations...

Firstly, why do we need our children to spend time away from us while the main service is going on? Why separate them from the space, the music, the liturgy - the adults? So that we will be less distracted? Why not allow them to be part of the main service(s), even if it means staying put in the transparent creche at the back of the hall? Why should TSS be "more meaningful" to our toddlers than the creche? (This is in light of my recent reflection on my creche experiences, which you could read about here.) The "we need an age-appropriate worship and discipleship experience for our kids" argument doesn't make enough sense somehow. So we want to meet their spiritual needs (something that should happen at home throughout the week anyway) by disconnecting them from the life of the general church?  What message do we give our kids when we indicate that they should only sit in worship when the environment, songs, level of language, experiences, and subject matters are "suitable" or "fun"? What do they learn when we send them away from the family gathering because they are supposedly not ready for it? Are family gatherings - and its shared responsibilities as well as fellowship - only for grown-ups? Why do Sunday mornings have to be so "productive" for our little ones anyway? Isn't Jesus into the "slower rhythms of life" (as a friend of mine put it) - abiding, delighting, dwelling, and soaking in God's presence? (Note: there was no TSS in Jesus' time; the children were in their midst.)

Secondly, one parent will need to accompany the toddler to TSS - and this means that he/she will not be able to listen to Scripture with the rest of the congregation in the main hall that week. It was a weird experience to be that parent (I felt like I had missed out on an important weekly routine); and an even weirder experience to sit through the service without my husband (and Sophie) last Sunday.

There you go. Two sides of a coin.

The Ethiopian Eunuch

26 Now an angel of the Lord said to Philip, “Rise and go toward the south to the road that goes down from Jerusalem to Gaza.” This is a desert place. 27 And he rose and went. And there was an Ethiopian, a eunuch, a court official of Candace, queen of the Ethiopians, who was in charge of all her treasure. He had come to Jerusalem to worship 28 and was returning, seated in his chariot, and he was reading the prophet Isaiah. 29 And the Spirit said to Philip, “Go over and join this chariot.”30 So Philip ran to him and heard him reading Isaiah the prophet and asked, “Do you understand what you are reading?” 31 And he said, “How can I, unless someone guides me?” And he invited Philip to come up and sit with him. 32 Now the passage of the Scripture that he was reading was this:

“Like a sheep he was led to the slaughter
    and like a lamb before its shearer is silent,
    so he opens not his mouth.
33 In his humiliation justice was denied him.
    Who can describe his generation?
For his life is taken away from the earth.”

34 And the eunuch said to Philip, “About whom, I ask you, does the prophet say this, about himself or about someone else?” 35 Then Philip opened his mouth, and beginning with this Scripture he told him the good news about Jesus. 36 And as they were going along the road they came to some water, and the eunuch said, “See, here is water! What prevents me from being baptized?” 38 And he commanded the chariot to stop, and they both went down into the water, Philip and the eunuch, and he baptized him. 39 And when they came up out of the water, the Spirit of the Lord carried Philip away, and the eunuch saw him no more, and went on his way rejoicing. 40 But Philip found himself at Azotus, and as he passed through he preached the gospel to all the towns until he came to Caesarea.

This mysterious story amazes me to no end. Some reflections:

Firstly, an African Gentile's unlikely and not-very-successful (I imagine) pilgrimage into the desert to worship none other than Israel's God... concludes with the gospel in his heart and his baptism. He sought understanding and was enlightened. He desired to repent and a pool of water appeared for that purpose (v.37, c.f. Matt. 3:11). When we seek God humbly, whoever we are, He allows Himself to be found and rewards our persistence extravagantly.

Secondly, the story highlights God's impeccable timing and sovereign providence. He makes everything fall beautifully into place. The coincidences in the story are too many to be merely accidental: the angel's prompting of Philip, the chariot meeting Philip on the eunuch's way home, the passage of Scripture the eunuch had decided to read, Philip's expertise in guiding him to the truth, the pool of water, etc. A child of God must therefore be comforted that nothing can ever happen to him/her which God has not planned or prepared in such great detail so that His goodness shines. God is yet bigger than any difficulty we should face, even death. I think then, that Abraham's attitude toward his bleak circumstances should be our inspiration and goal: "In hope, he believed against hope, that he should become the father of many nations, as he had been told, "So shall your offspring be". He did not weaken in faith when he considered his own body, which was as good as dead (since he was about a hundred years old), or when he considered the barrenness of Sarah's womb. No unbelief made him waver concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God." (Rom. 4:18-20, ESV, emphasis mine)

Thirdly, the sense of urgency in the story (regarding the eunuch as well as Philip) jolts me to think: do we respond to Scripture as if we might drop dead any moment thereafter and fall short of fulfilling it? For example, Philip could have put the angel on hold until it was convenient for him to journey to Samaria, not to mention a dusty desert. After all, he wasn't told why he had to show up there. The eunuch could have ignored that pool of water: "Oopsie, I didn't wear the right clothes." No. He commanded the chariot to stop and went down into the water at once. I can only imagine that he continued the journey back home drenched but overjoyed (v.39).

Finally, evangelism in this story began with Scripture (v.30). Of course, I'm not saying that Philip's approach is a one-size-fits-all sort of thing (not every unbeliever is reading Scripture when we appear at the scene!) - but I think the story emphasises the centrality of reading Scripture in the whole process. Philip used Scripture to get the gospel message across to the eunuch. Do we, in our well-meaning efforts, tend to skip the reading (and exegesis) of Scripture because we are afraid that those whom we evangelise to might get bored? Would we rather just briefly paraphrase? The Bible must tell its story on its own terms.

Grace finds...

Noah found grace (Genesis 6:8). 

This is a literal translation, by which we could safely abide. It is obvious, however, that Noah was not outstanding in moral character compared to the rest of (the sinful) human race. He was not more worthy than you and me. His faith in God and his obedience followed his receipt of grace rather than precede it. How then did he "find" grace?

God chose to give grace to Noah.

In reality, grace found Noah.

Grace finds us wallowing in our sin. It is a holy intrusion, by which our eyes are forever opened. Repulsed by our sins and the judgment they deserve, we turn back to God. That was what happened to Noah. He subsequently obeyed God's command to build the ark; by doing so, there was salvation for him and his family. Grace compels us to take refuge in God's law i.e. the words God has spoken. Obey and live. Disobey and the curses will have to rain down upon you and drown you.

Has grace found you? Have you begun on your ark?

The flood will come. Begin today.

FYI

I recently took this blog off blog-listing sites and made it invisible to most search engines. Of course, one could still access the blog via my blog address.

The reason? Well, I just didn't want my blog to be so exposed anymore. It's a new chapter in life. While it's not like I am going to blog about very, very private matters, I have stopped feeling comfortable about being that visible to the world. And I think that's ok.

Having said that, if you are yet a reader - friend, family, missionary, ministry worker, someone who stumbled upon my blog some time ago (even if you don't know me personally) etc. - thank you for following me so faithfully. You are welcome to do so.

Love,
Grace

Sophie's diaries : The forgiveness of a child

I got back late from work tonight. Every Tuesday night. Period.

Honestly, I don't like working past 6pm... but I do, twice a week, just to suit that handful of students who just can't make it on any other day or at any other time thanks to their ludicrously packed weekly schedules (I am thankful that they are good students though).

Anyway.  

It was near my toddler's bedtime. She was getting all kiasu, bossy and cranky. We tried to read; she was angry when her dad read the words on the page before she could. And then, I had to brush her teeth. All hell broke loose. There was the sound of her cries, my exasperated "say AHHHHH"s or "say EEEEEEEE"s, more crying... and then her dad tried to be helpful but got in my way, resulting in my scolding voice rising above the din. Etcetera. There you go, very dramatic.

In the end, it was a very miserable (and tired) little girl who buried her face into my shoulder during bedtime prayer. The weight of remorse and guilt bore down on me much more than that of my daughter as I carried her, pacing the room.

I knew that I had to apologise somehow. And I did. I told her that I loved her.

"Will you please forgive mummy?"

She nodded.

No words can express how beautiful a child's forgiveness is. In it, there is no malice, no secret grudge, and no pretense.